Adjusting the side and rear view mirrors, I started up my white rental car. Driving down the highway, I tried to get my bearings. It’s been years since I’ve driven the suburbs of our nation’s capital. I passed the exit for my grandparent’s house and tears stung my eyes. It hit me hard, realizing that they’ve been gone a few years now.

I visited my old church and found it had been completely remodeled. The pastor who married us has retired and moved away. Nothing looks the same. And neither do the people. My sister tells me that the mall I used to frequent as a teen has been bulldozed to the ground to make way for something completely new. I learned from my aunt that the farm where she used to live was sold and houses now stand where my sister and I used to run and explore (remember when I wrote about that farm here?).

Have you ever left someplace you’ve lived and then returned a number of years later? It’s amazing how much things change, isn’t it? Our past is preserved like snapshots in our mind. Whenever we think of a place from our past, we see it just as we remember it. And then when we visit it in the present, the clash between today and yesterday can leave us reeling.

In the past few weeks, I’ve returned to my home town for my sister’s bridal shower and then for her wedding. My mind was overwhelmed by images from the past facing the reality of the present. While people are preserved in my mind from fifteen years ago, they have in reality aged. Life goes on.

It’s easier to forget the past when I reside so far away. But driving through familiar streets made childhood memories flood my mind. Seeing extended family gathered together to celebrate a wedding reminded me of past gatherings and of those who are now missing.

While in many ways it saddens me that things have changed and that life has gone on since I’ve moved away, it also means that the wounds that linger in my memory from times past are just that-memories. This visit is a great reminder of all that God has done in my life these many years. He has brought me from a place of timidity, insecurity and uncertainty to a place of confidence in Him and His plan for my life. No longer do the sorrows and wounds from childhood rule and define me. Where once I thought I’d be chained to a family legacy of secrets, bitterness, rage and anger, I have instead been freed to create a new legacy and new memories.

It is also a reminder that God is redeeming all things, even the past. For while I look at people from my past and see painful memories, they have not remained there in the past. They have in fact moved on and changed. The same painful circumstances that God has used to change me, He has also used to change others. When I push away those memories and see others for who they are now, God’s redeeming power humbles me.

Visiting the past can be painful. But there is joy there too. For it reveals the way God has always been there. Reading the previous chapters of our life from where we are currently in redemption’s story, we can see how far God has brought us. The refining He has done, the wounds He has healed, and the ways we have grown in our love for Him are all evident. Our past can become memorial stones, a testimony of God’s redemptive love poured out in our lives.

And as I witnessed my sister’s wedding, the past and present merged into a beautiful image of the way God rescues and redeems. Because one day we will walk down the aisle, perfect in beauty and radiant in holiness, and join our Bridegroom for an eternity of never-ending bliss and happiness with the One our hearts were made for.

Joining the gratitude community and thanking my Savior for (#1874-1885):

The power of redemption, even over the past

The way God continues to be at work

That He is making all things new

Going to DC for my sister’s wedding

Having time to take the kids to the city to see the Spy Museum, new MLK monument, Smithsonian

Seeing my boys excited about being in the wedding

Watching my little sister get married

Seeing family members I hadn’t seen for a while

The beautiful fall weather

Getting to know my sister’s new family

Flying from DC to Atlanta to continue our time away

Linking up with these friends:

With the start of school and the arrival of fall, life has returned to full speed in my house. Busyness puts me on edge and I get irritable. It seems like we are always running late, forgetting something, and the laundry is out of control. I got sick right as my husband was to leave town. And my back is giving me spasms but I have no time to go for an adjustment.

An introvert, I require peace and quiet to restore my senses-and sanity. Lately, it seems I need it more than ever. When I finally do get that time of quiet, I read these words, “Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4)

The passages in Scripture where we are told to do things continually have always made me stop and question, “How can that be?” The Bible calls us to pray without ceasing, forgive seventy times seven, give thanks in all things and to rejoice always. How do I rejoice always? Even when my kids won’t do what I tell them? Even when my dishwasher breaks? How about when the doctor orders more tests or when my car gets hit from behind-then too? What about when my friends reject me or my dreams get washed away?

SInce Paul was the one who penned those words in Philippians, perhaps I should ask him about the “always” part. But then I remember that Paul didn’t have life easy. He endured beatings, starvation, shipwrecks, imprisonment, and ultimately martyrdom. Yet, he practiced what he preached. “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” (Romans 5:3-4)

Interestingly, ‘rejoice’ is a verb, the action of living out joy. I usually think of joy as something that happens to me as the result of a good experience. God blesses my life in some way and it makes me happy or joyful. But, as it turns out, joy is something that you do, an intentional response to life. And this response doesn’t require a specific set of circumstances. Rather, we can rejoice no matter and even in spite of the circumstances.

This response to life’s hardships is quite the opposite of what our culture expects today. Happiness is defined as life going just the way we want it. Someone does something nice for us and it makes us happy. Happiness often has a contingency attached to it. Some might say, “I’ll be happy as soon as I get the job I want” or “I’ll be happy once I’m married” “If my kids would just sleep through the night, I’d be a happier person” (guilty as charged on this one) or “If I won the lottery, then I’d be happy.”

It was Christ who showed us the path of joy often takes us through trials and suffering. He said to His followers that day on the Mount (Matthew 5), “Blessed are those who mourn.” In this sermon, blessed can also be translated as ‘happy’. ”Happy are those who are poor in spirit” ”Happy are those who are persecuted.”

Joy is ours through Christ, no matter the circumstances. And, as our Lord pointed out, even because of the circumstances. The astounding paradox, intrinsic to the upside down kingdom, is this truth: happiness comes through suffering.

After all, isn’t our greatest happiness the direct result of Jesus’ blood shed on the cross? The cross, a sign and symbol of curse, became a symbol of hope and joy. Jesus also told His followers on the Mount, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.” (Matthew 5:11-12) He didn’t say, ‘you will have joy once you get to heaven’, but He said to rejoice now, be glad now, even while you are persecuted.

We can rejoice now, knowing what lies ahead. The hope and promise of heaven keeps us moving forward with joy, despite the obstacles and trials we face along the way.

James said to “consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4) He gives us another reason to rejoice in the sufferings and hardships of life-so that we would grow in our faith and walk with Christ.

Peter said something similar in 1 Peter 1:6-7, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Not only do our trials refine us, shape us to be more like Christ, but the result of that refinement is for the glory and honor of Christ. The spiritual transformation in our lives glorifies our Lord and Savior.

When Paul tells us to rejoice always, he says to rejoice in the Lord always. It’s because of Christ, through Christ, by Christ, and in Christ that we have joy. We can rejoice no matter the circumstances because we know that we have been saved for eternity. We know that trials are changing us for the better. And we know that it all brings glory to God.

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.” Revelation 19:7

Rejoicing in community (#1860-1873):

That it is possible to rejoice in all things

The way our sufferings are not wasted

The promise that suffering results in Christ-like growth

Surviving the week with my husband out of town

Not having to cook all week:)

Feeling better

The AMAZING discussions we are having in my ladies Bible study

Hope and peace

Celebrating birthdays with my mother-in-law

Having a party for the boys at the bowling alley

all the kids and even the grown ups having fun:)

Looking forward to going out of town next week for my sister’s wedding

A friend taking over my Bible study while I’m gone

Linking up with my friends at:

“You better schedule an appointment tomorrow.” It was these words from my husband that I recalled as I laid out flat, wincing in pain with every move.

I remembered my response too. “I don’t have any time.”

Having chronic back problems for years, I know I what I need to do to keep it from going out on me. It had been bothering me for a few days before we went out-of-town to a water park. It only took one simple, not too rough, family tube ride to put me in tears. After a visit to the First Aid station, I laid down with my pack of ice and remembered my husband’s advice from a few days before.

When life gets busy, I put my own needs to the side. I do this not only with my health, but with my spiritual walk as well.

On the busiest of days, my eyes catch sight of my Bible I think, “I just don’t have time right now, I’ll sit down and read later.” Challenging issues arise during my day and I try to push my way through instead of pausing to pray. I feel disconnected and overwhelmed and rather than run to my Abba, I grumble, complain, and despair.

And just like my back when I fail to take care of it, my soul begins to suffer. I become weak in the face of the enemy’s lies. I may even become immobilized, sapped of spiritual strength.

Just like my body needs food for energy, my soul needs nourishment to stay healthy. In the same way that my physical health needs to be maintained, so too does my spiritual health. I need constant communion with God in the same way that I need air to breathe.

Why do I think that I can make it through the day without my Savior?

I should know from past experience that every time I try to live my life in my own strength, I fail. Everytime I tell God that I will check in with Him later, I get lost. And every time I try to go forward in the journey without soul nourishment, I stumble and fall.

Oh, what a stubborn learner I am! As Paul said, “Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 7:24-25) But for grace, I would be a hopeless mess. But because of grace, I am a perfect mess.

No matter how many times I fail to sup at the table with my Savior, feeding on His Words, He always keeps my place set. And when I do arrive, thirsty and famished, wounded and in despair, He is there waiting. There I am strengthened, receiving nourishment and rest for my soul.

Thankful today for this truth: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” James 4:8

Joining the gratitude community (#1820-1832 ):

my wonderful, fabulous chiropractor

my son who waited patiently for over an hour while I received my treatment

the sweet lady in the Target parking lot who saw that I left items in my cart and stopped me as I started to drive away

the start of my ladies Bible study

the great discussion and time of sharing

our babysitter back in town after two months away:)

a fun start to our homeschool Apologia coop

girls night out, dinner by the water

pumpkin pie bagel

broken garage door repaired

slightly cooler temperatures

my car breaking down while my husband was available to help me

Linking up with my friends at:

It’s the tenth frame. I watch his eyes scan the screen hanging from the ceiling above us. His face falls with realization. Eyes wet with unshed tears, he shuffles around as if to walk out the frustration bubbling up inside. “It’s not fair,” he mutters.

My husband and I cheer for his brother who knocked down eight pins when I hear his grumbling voice again. This time, the tears flow down his cheeks.

Together, the four of us had enjoyed an outing of put-put, laser tag, and now bowling. A perfectionist, my son hates to lose. Today was no exception.

“Remember what we read earlier today?” I asked.

He stares at me, having completely forgotten lessons learned in school in that morning.

“We learned the verse where Paul said to give thanks in all things. Remember the story we read about Corrie ten Boom and the fleas?”

During WWII, Corrie ten Boom and her family helped Jews hide from the Germans by hiding them in their house. They were caught and sent to a prison camp. The conditions were overcrowded and the bunkroom ridden with bugs. Somehow, she snuck a Bible into the camp with her. Because Corrie’s bunkroom was full of fleas, the guards never came to check it and never discovered her Bible. She expressed thanks for the fleas because they allowed her to share God’s word with the other prisoners.

She and her sister clung to the promises of Scripture and one day read Paul’s words:

“‘Give thanks in all circumstances,’ she quoted. It doesn’t say, ‘in pleasant circumstances.’ Fleas are part of this place where God has put us.” And so we stood between tiers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas.”

(From The Hiding Place)

Recounting this story to my husband from our studies earlier that day, I ask the kids, “How can we be thankful for all things? Even for losing?” Driving home, we take turns sharing our own thanks-for all things.

Giving thanks even in the face of trial is indeed the hard thanks. My son isn’t the only one who struggles to give thanks for all things. My own heart responds with grumbling and complaining when faced with unwanted circumstances. I am like the Israelites who wanted to turn back to slavery because they didn’t like the food God provided on the way to the promised land. I live for blessings on this earth and am angry when I don’t get what I want. I fail to see how my desert wanderings are an opportunity to draw closer to God and grow in my love for Him.

But He tells me that the hard things in life are for my good and His glory. They are to prepare me for the great party in eternity. God uses the hard things to transform me to be more like Christ.

If my Savior can give thanks before His final meal, I can give thanks for every part of His plan for me. If Corrie ten Boom can give thanks for fleas in a German concentration camp, I can give thanks for the trials in my own life. Because sometimes, the fleas can be a blessing in disguise.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Practicing giving the hard thanks this week (#1807-1819):

getting blood work done to maintain my health

receiving rejection because it reminds me that I am completely accepted by God

my computer working intermittently all week because it makes me do other things

having no time to get things done because it makes me rely on God and His timing

feeling overwhelmed by life because it makes me trust God to handle everything

being forgetful because it is humbling

battling seasons of depression because it makes me throw myself at His mercy and grace

refereeing sibling rivalry because it makes me stop and focus on what’s really important

my back nearly giving out on me at a water park because it makes me rely on God’s strength

And for the not so hard things:

meeting up with a blogging friend and her family in Orlando

for ice from the first aid station

for the boy’s smiles everytime they went down a slide

Linking up with my friends at:

The sound of thunder echoed throughout the house. Though midday, the skies outside were dark as rain deluged our street. Last week, Tropical Storm Isaac raged its way through our coastal town.

Thinking my son would be afraid, I looked around the house for my him. I found him hiding in my closet. “What are you doing in here?”

He looked up at me with a serious face and quietly said, “I don’t like the storm.”

I could understand why. We experienced just the outer bands of Isaac which extended two hundred miles from the heart of the storm in Cuba. It brought unexpected high winds, tornadoes, and flooding to our area. It was so unexpected that the schools were not even cancelled that day. My son’s preschool called in the midst of a tornado warning to inform me that I had to come and pick him up. I looked out the window at the two feet of water in the street and wondered if I would even make it there. Thankfully, my husband was able to leave work and get him.

I had to agree with my son, I didn’t like the storm either.

Ian soon moved from the closet to my bed and covered his head with the quilt. My other son and I joined him and there we hid, praying our fears to God. We thanked Him as Creator of the wind and rain. We thanked Him that we could come to Him in prayer. We thanked Him for His love and provision. We thanked Him for the safety of our house. And we thanked Him that He alone calms our fears.

The apostle Paul has taught me the way to peace in the midst of fear: prayer with a thankful heart. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7) When the storms of life threaten to sweep me away, I bring my worries and fears to God. Laying them at His feet, I give thanks for all that He is and all He has done. Because He holds the world in His hands, I know my concerns are safe with Him. By wrapping my worries in gratitude, I am reminded of just how much He cares. As I reflect on His past grace, He surrounds me with peace, leaving me secure in His future grace.

Because prayer wrapped in thanksgiving is the cure for the worried and fearful heart.

After the boys and I prayed, Ian crawled out from under the covers. We spent the afternoon playing games, no longer fearful of the sounds of the storm. By dinner, Isaac had moved on. The sun returned just in time to shine its remaining rays into the kitchen window before it left for the night. The frogs in the yard sang a chorus of praise that lasted the rest of the evening. Birds feasted on the bugs that had risen to the surface of the ground. We joined creation in lifting praise to God as we bent our heads and returned our own thanks to Him who carries all our burdens and cares.

Thanking Him for the storms and lessons learned through them (#1795-1806):

my husband being in town to help pick up my son

fears calmed through prayer

that He promises peace when we pray with a thankful heart

that the sun always shines after a storm

girls night out

visiting friend in the hospital and meeting her new baby

dark chocolate pecan bark

taking the boys tubing at my in-laws house

that Ian didn’t get as many ant bites as he could have gotten when he fell in an ant pile

that his allergic reaction was controlled by Benadryl

supportive, loving friends

Linking up with my friends at:

Do you ever walk into a room and instantly forgot why you did? I’ve done that more times than I can count. I’ve also put the milk in the pantry and silverware in the trash. Since having children, I’ve become increasingly forgetful. But worse than that, I think I might have amnesia.

Heart amnesia.

It’s a new school year at our house and we’ve started our catechism questions over again, from the beginning. I ask the kids, “Why did God make you and all things?” They answer, “For His own glory.” Not as forgetful as I, they recall the answer without much effort.

Sometimes, I need to return to the beginning to remember what is truly important.

Returning from my writer’s conference in July, my mind was full of ideas and lessons I had learned. I set goals for myself, made deadlines, and got to work. A few weeks later, I am stressed, overwhelmed, worried, and irritable. With the new homeschool year beginning, the schedule is already full. I can’t focus on anything else and there isn’t enough time. And why can’t the kids be quiet for even fifteen minutes?

Frustrated by my feelings of restlessness, worry, and discouragement, I stop writing and sit down with God. I open to the Psalms, where I know the words will reflect and mirror the feelings of my heart. But more than that, I know the prose penned so long ago will guide my thoughts and feelings back to Him.

I open to Psalm 147 and read through to the end of the book. My mind begins to clear, my memory is triggered, and I remember who I am.

“Praise the Lord. Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise in the assembly of the saints. Let Israel rejoice in their Maker; let the people of Zion be glad in their King. Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp. For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation. Let the saints rejoice in this honor and sing for joy on their beds.” Psalm 149:1-5

These Psalms (147-150) remind me that I was created to love and glorify my Maker. I was made to live a life of Praise, not one of stress, doubt, and confusion. With my heart so focused and distracted by my self-imposed goals and plans, I had developed heart amnesia. I forgot who I was and why I am here. My plans, goals, and dreams, while all good, had become a barrier, a cloudy haze, making it hard to remember who I was made to be.

Like a person with amnesia, sometimes I need my memory triggered to remind me who I am:

• completely known (Psalm 139)
• a treasured possession (Ephesians 1:14)
• a dearly loved child (Ephesians 5:1)
• a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• a possession of God (Isaiah 43:1)
• an heir of God (Galatians 4:7)
• pure and holy (1 Corinthians 1:30)
• free! (John 8:26)

The more I remember who I am in Christ, the more my heart responds with praise. Living a life of praise is a heart posture, a habit, a way of life. It’s the only way to truly live. And it’s what I was created for.

Do you ever have heart amnesia? What is it that triggers your memory?

“The man who has God for his treasure has all things in one. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight.” A.W. Tozer

Praising God in community for (#1766-1782):

For the eight above truths that remind me who I am

start of homeschool

enjoying the new curriculum

guacamole

Opportunity where I thought there wasn’t

Planning a new study for my ladies at church and my friends here

My husband helping out with a few school activities, especially with the worm habitat

Laughter

Husband rescuing us from a huge frog hopping around the living room:)

Boys who want to do chores, and one is finally big enough to vacuum and mop!

Linking up with my friends at:

“Mom, can you buy me something?”

We are out running errands. My eyes scan the shelves for the next thing on my list. “Ian, it’s not a buying day,” I remind him.

“Just buy me something, one little thing.”

Something. Just one little thing. Isn’t that how it starts? The accumulation of one little thing at a time adds up to many, many things. Most of which we don’t even care about.

Driving home from the store, I talk to the boys about gratitude. “The reason you wanted me to buy you one little thing is because you have too many little things. The more we have, the more we want. And we don’t appreciate what we have because we are always looking at what we don’t have.” I point out to them that it is often those who are poor who have more gratitude in their heart than those who are rich.

“Instead of thinking about what you don’t have, lets talk about what you do have. What are you grateful for?” I ask.

From the back seat, I hear, “My room. Our house.”

“Let’s get more specific, tell me what things in your room you are thankful for.”

We spend the rest of the ride home with the boys taking turns listing what they are grateful for. “Our Lego police station.” “The hotwheels track.” “My marble run.” “Lego minifigures.”

Isn’t own heart the same way? I always want more. My time is spent looking at things online instead of thanking God for what I do have. I pin, add to wish lists, and save to my cart for later. I tell myself I’m just comparing prices and looking for the best deal. But in looking at all the things I want, I don’t see all that I have.

I need to cultivate a thankful heart. And not just by praying a broad, “Thank you God for all my blessings,” type of prayer that blurs the many gifts altogether into one. Because gratitude is thankful for actual specific gifts, not just the idea of them. In giving thanks for each gift, I realize just how much I have and how much God loves and provides.

Gratitude moves our eyes from our source of distraction to our Source for all things.

As the kids counted their own gifts, one by one, Ian stopped begging for a toy. They returned home with greater realization that they have more than enough. They don’t need just one little thing to make them happy, for they already have all they need.

Is counting gifts a possible cure for a child’s “gimme’s”? I don’t know. But I do know that it has helped change my ungrateful heart into one that is extremely thankful and humbled by all that God has done. The accumulation of each and every blessing adds up to many, many blessings. So many, that I’ll never stop counting.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Continuing to count my own list of thanks, one by one (#1749-1765)

New school supplies

a new year for learning and growing

a school room led by grace

new French press, stainless steal so it won’t break

dryer that finally works

and even better, this one sings a tune when it’s done drying:)

husband getting things done around the house

french toast made out of cranberry walnut bread from Publix

last day at the water park before school starts

Big brother teaching little brother how to play chess

Friend helping me with my blog

Being invited to a friend’s house for Crawfish Cakes, yum!

the Spirit’s conviction of my own discontent and desire for more

Planning the next study for the women at my church

a growing church community and seeing God’s hand at work

being used by God for His glory

Linking up with my friends at: