“I thank Thee for the temporal blessings of this world— the freshing air, the light of the sun, the food that renews strength, the raiment that clothes, the dwelling that shelters, the sleep that gives rest, the starry canopy of night, the summer breeze, the flowers’ sweetness, the music of flowing streams, the happy endearments of family, kindred, friends. Things animate, things inanimate, minister to my comfort. My cup runs over.

Suffer me not to be insensible to these daily mercies. Thy hand bestows blessings: Thy power averts evil. I bring my tribute of thanks for spiritual graces, the full warmth of faith, the cheering presence of Thy Spirit, the strength of Thy restraining will, Thy spiking of hell’s artillery.

Blessed be my sovereign Lord!” -Puritan Prayer

With my one word as “Seek” this year, I desire to seek God and His grace in my daily life. I want to seek Him in all the little blessings, the daily circumstances, even the mundane of life. I want to seek and find His grace all day and everyday.

The ongoing challenge in seeking out and counting the blessings in my life isn’t so much that I get too busy and forget, but that I just don’t see them because I’m looking elsewhere. Seeking His grace can’t be accomplished when I am focused on what is going on around me and in me.

Peter knew this from first hand experience. Seeing Jesus walking on water, he had a burst of faith and walked out on the water to meet him.

“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. (Matthew 14:29)

As long as he maintained eye contact with Jesus, he walked toward Jesus. But as soon as he looked at the wind and waves with fear, he began to sink.

But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. (14:30)

How true is that of me!

When my days are focused on seeking His face, on seeking Him in prayer and the Word, I stand. But when I get distracted by the cares of life, I stumble in the waves of uncertainty. Instead of seeing all the grace He has showered on me, I see the dangers, fears, and trials of life. Instead of walking toward Him in faith, I flounder and try to stay afloat amid the waves of life’s circumstances.

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (14:31)

My failures to seek Him stem from doubt and lack of faith. I fear my circumstances more than I trust in Him. But as with Peter, Christ remains there in the wind and waves with me. He reaches out to me, pulling me up and onto my feet. He reminds me of grace and reminds me that He came to still all the storms in my life. And with that grace, He points out all the blessings I failed to see: the sun above the clouds, the rainbow after the rain, the grass refreshed, and the birds fed.

All is grace and all blessings are undeserved. This week I experienced that even more as He showered me with one unexpected grace after another. Truly, my cup runs over.

Counting in community: (2027-2042)

unexpected grace

new friends

encouraging words

open doors

hope

opportunity

strength in weakness

supportive friends

using my new Pioneer Woman cookbook:)

time to read and learn

children quiet during long phone calls

grace to trust

our babysitter returning after being gone over a month

my MIL making it through a heart procedure okay

pastor’s sermon on Psalm 121

Linking up with these friends:

“Leave those two until the last” she instructed. “And open the bag that says #1 first.”

A pile of presents lay at my feet. We took turns opening gifts, oohing and ahhing at each other’s new treasures.

Getting to the bottom of my pile, I picked up bag #1. Reaching inside, I felt a small glass container. I pulled a glass mason jar from the bag. Strips of white paper with words written on them filled the glass.

I knew just what it was.

“I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed. “You saved this all these years?”

Twelve years ago, in graduate school and stretched for money, I wanted to give family members a meaningful present for Christmas. Always interested in family history and the keeper of all the old photos of my ancestors, I decided to give a gift that would tell me more about the member’s of both mine and my husband’s family. That Christmas, I gave them legacy jars. I typed up a list of questions for them to answer about their past and gave them a journal to record the answers. My hope was to receive back the completed journal to pass down to my children one day.

Time passed. Life happened. There were moves, marriages, births, surgeries, and travels.

When my children were born I had a renewed desire to find a way to document family stories. I interviewed one of my grandparents and wrote down his responses. But then my other grandparents passed away a couple of years ago, and I felt a greater urgency to learn more about the people in our family.

Christmas is a season of waiting and of anticipation. Waiting, while hard, is often rewarded with the most wondrous of things. The seeds we plant, water, and nurture grow into colorful and fragrant flowers. A tiny fetus in the womb develops over nine months until it is ready to be born and placed in its mother’s awaiting arms.

And after waiting for my mother-in-law’s story, this Christmas I opened the second bag and inside was the journal I had given her twelve years before. Inside the journal I found her story typed out and glued onto each page. She had answered my questions, recorded her story in words, and gave me her legacy for me to pass on to my children.

It was the perfect gift and well worth the wait.

I’m starting out this new year counting this and all the gifts of grace (#2001-2026)

a trip to Atlanta in December: enjoying light shows, tubing on the snow, painting pottery, a trip to the outlets

A small Christmas party at our house with a few friends

oreo truffles and egg nog punch

spending Christmas with family, fun gifts for the kids, new shoes for me:)

taking a few weeks off from blogging to rest and reflect

Having an articles of mine in the January edition of Proverbs 31 Magazine

my husband completing everything on my honey do list:)

finishing the kid’s digital scrapbooks for this past year

deciding on my one verse and word for this new year

getting the house back to normal

organizing closets-one of my favorite things to do!

my husband’s help with the kids

roasting marshmallows over the fire pit

telling jokes around the fire

encouraging friends

the slowness of January

the power of the gospel in daily life

forgiveness and grace

Downton Abbey season 3!

Linking up with these friends:

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced.” 1 Chronicles 16:8-12

It was after reading Ann’s blog for a number of months, when I finally decided to join the Gratitude Community in June of 2010. Since then, each Monday I join the assembly of voices sharing praises to God for all He’s done. And this week, I have reached #2,000 on my gratitude list.

When I started, I had no idea that I would even make it to a thousand. I thought it was a good idea, was curious to see if it was as life changing as people said, but never imagined it would become a way of life. After all, it’s hard to keep up with any kind of life discipline consistently-at least it is for me. But God, He can do anything and He has been at work these past couple of years revealing to me how gratitude for His grace can transform the heart.

It’s been a gradual change and one which I’ve been slow to learn. Some weeks my list was long because I enjoyed a special activity, trip, or experience. Celebrating holidays also gave me many reasons to give thanks. But those weeks where the fog was thick and the sun remained behind the clouds, I struggled to count graces. As time went on, I learned that it was possible to give thanks in all circumstances, even my depression. I realized that because God is always good and since He brings everything into my life for my ultimate good, I can return thanks-even while in the darkest valleys.

I’ve also learned to give thanks in the mundane of life, in the everyday chores, responsibilities, and challenges. This habit of counting has been like a new lens that helps me see the world differently. I now see things I never noticed before, the way the sun shines through rain drops, the caterpillar on a leaf, and a bee resting on a flower. I’ve learned to savor tastes, sounds, and smells like the first bite of dark chocolate, my children’s laughter, and cookies baking in the oven.

Counting has opened my eyes to what has been here all along, I was just too blind to see.

And I’ve come to see that all things are because of His grace and by His grace. From the air I breathe to the food I eat, from the long lines at the store to the heaviness in my heart, all is grace. All the things I experience in my life are gifts of His grace, given as opportunities for me to draw ever closer to God and enjoy deeper communion and intimacy with Him.

This journey of joy continues to teach me, mold me, and refine me. I look forward to seeing what the next thousand will be!

Counting in community: (#1991-2000)

Sitting in the doctor’s office for two hours with both kids and not getting overly frustrated (a miracle for me:)

Red velvet peppermint cookies

Ladies ornament exchange at church

hot chocolate bar:)

the canvases arriving that I ordered of our family portraits

opportunities to give to others this season

watching our town’s Christmas parade with my church family

my oldest being in his first parade

reaching 2,000!

Linking up with these friends:

Staring at the computer screen, I breathed out a heavy sigh. I closed out what I was doing and placed my head in my hands. “I’m done with Christmas,” I muttered to no one but myself.

With another trip on the calendar, I’ve been hard at work with Christmas shopping, wrapping, and mailing packages before we leave. Nothing is cooperating with my schedule. One gift I ordered arrived in the mail damaged, a photo gift arrived with the image distorted, and the project I was working on at the computer failed.

As I struggled with my frustrations, my own voice echoed in my mind. It was just the day before that I had talked with my youngest about Christmas. He had been talking about the presents he hoped to receive. I asked him, “Why do we celebrate Christmas?” He answered, “We celebrate baby Jesus being born.” “Right,” I answered. “And that means it’s not about the presents.”

It’s not about the presents.

I’ve gotten so wrapped up in details and deadlines and finding the perfect gifts at the perfect price that I’d forgotten what this holiday is all about.

It’s not about the presents. Nor is it about the decorations. It’s not about getting the tree up on time. It’s not about getting the perfect family photo for this year’s Christmas card. It’s not about all the little things I spend my time thinking about this season.

It’s about Jesus.

When my heart isn’t focused on Him, the holidays will threaten to steal my joy. Because joy comes from the Lord, not from a picture perfect holiday. Joy comes from knowing the Giver of all good gifts, not being a giver of good gifts. It comes from being wrapped in the grace of the gospel, not from piles of perfectly wrapped gifts. And it comes from following Christ, not from following the latest holiday sales and deals.

This Christmas season, I want my heart to be on that hill with the shepherds, watching in wonder at the news brought by thousands of angelic beings.

I want my heart to be in the humble stable, among the sheep and donkeys, and the smell of fresh-cut hay, beholding the Christ-child in the feeding trough.

I want my heart to leave home and travel thousands of miles, just to lay my gifts and my very self at the feet of my Savior.

I want my heart to consider and ponder all these things, that a holy God would humble Himself to become Immanuel, God with us.

This Christmas, I want my heart to be moved, shaken, awed, awakened, changed, and humbled by Jesus, the Savior of the world.

What are your expectations for this Christmas season?

Counting His grace with friends: (#1981-1990)

The Holy Spirit who prompts my heart when I’ve gone down the wrong path

His grace that pulls me back to Him and reminds me of what my heart longs for most of all

The opportunity to focus on the gift of grace this Christmas season

A friend who rescued me from my computer problems and actually completed my gift project for me

Playing countless games of Battleship with my 5 year old when he was sick this past week

Camping at the beach with my church family

watching dolphins play in the water

all the kids running, playing, fishing, climbing trees

A community that shares-especially their marshmallows:)

Linking up with these friends:

We sat in a circle in my living room, myself and the girls in my small group. In the quiet of the evening, with the cool breeze blowing in through the open sliding glass doors, we talked about joy. We are on a journey together, on a search for joy. Desiring to dig deeper, we want to grasp hold of joy and explore its wonders. Yet the air was heavy as our life stories from the week reflected each of our struggles to even capture a glimpse of joy.

Some days, it seems like it’s just beyond our reach.

My own heart feels lost. I’ve been a nomad this year, both physically and emotionally. It seems I am always getting ready for a trip or just returning from one. I struggle to stay grounded, for my roots to cling to something solid and sure. It’s as though I am a rootless tumbleweed, blowing wherever the wind takes me.

It’s not just my clothes and toiletries that lack a permanent place of rest, my heart longs for it too.

“What is joy?” the girls and I asked each other. That evening, it seemed we had more questions than answers.

And I have my own questions. Can joy grow despite the jumbled and inconsistent mess of my life? Can it thrive and be nourished, even when I feel lost and unsure? What about when life is hard, why does joy always seem to go dormant, like the trees in winter?

As I learn and grow in grace, I’m learning that joy isn’t what I once thought it was. I used to look at it as a giddy, outgoing, highly optimistic outlook on life. And sometimes joy does look like that. But not always.

I’ve learned that joy can co-exist with other feelings and experiences like suffering and fear. Mike Mason describes joy as “letting go when we’re overwhelmed…(or) an underlying confidence or courage, (or) what seeps through the cracks when our hearts are breaking.” (in Champagne for the Soul)

When it comes to drinking glasses, I’ve always been the “half empty” type of person. So I assumed that joy wasn’t possible for me. Slowly, I’ve come to realize that I too can experience real joy, even all the time, and that “Rejoice in the Lord always” wasn’t just written for the optimistic crowd, but for me too.

And this from Mike Mason:

“Joy may seem an upbeat sort of feeling, but the direction of joy isn’t always up. Often to be joyful we must go down-down through the noise of racing thoughts, down through the swirling chaos of circumstances, down through the deceptive appearances of life, down into the still waters and green pastures at the heart’s core.”

Ultimately, joy comes from God, a gift, just like His grace. When I embraced the gospel and became a believer, joy became part of me, just like the Spirit who now lives and reigns in my heart. It’s always there, it’s just that sometimes I need a reminder to bring it back into focus. The fog of life’s challenges and circumstances clouds my view, distorting and veiling joy. But like the sun that always shines no matter the weather, the joy of the Lord never ceases.

In fact, joy is what the Trinity have experienced together from all eternity. They have always danced the dance of other-serving love where joy overflows from a never ending fountain. And the wonder of it all is that God desired to share that joy with us.

It was through His perfect life and sacrificial death that Jesus made a way for us to join in that dance. It’s in this life that we get to learn the moves and experience a taste of that perfect joy that awaits us in eternity. Until then, I live by faith, believing that joy is there even when I can’t see it. And I journey deep under the mess of my life, below the uncertainties and challenges, always seeking the joy that Christ died to give me.

Will you join me in this journey?

“my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:11

Dancing in community as I count all His gifts of grace (1966-1980):

that no matter my life’s circumstances, the joy of the Lord is always with me

that counting these gifts each week is part of the discipline of digging deeper to find the joy

that it’s okay for life to be uncertain because God is always certain

my small group who journeys with me in the search for joy

belated birthday presents

my sister-in-law and I playing around asking Siri questions:)

Hosting Thanksgiving to 20 friends and family

chocolate pecan pie and cute turkey cookies made out of Oreos and Reese’s

the guys frying turkey

getting our Christmas tree!

a friend taking over Sunday school for me because my youngest was sick

the cheesy Christmas movies on Hallmark

after Thanksgiving sales almost being done with my Christmas shopping

Linking up with these friends:

Today we celebrate and give thanks for all God has done for us. As we gather around the table and feast upon the generous provisions, I will say a prayer of thanks for you, my friends. You have been a great source of encouragement and blessing to me this past year. You have read my stumbling words and managed to make sense of what my heart was trying to say. We have shared our hurts with one another and pointed each other to the One who heals. So thank you.

I’m including a portion of Abraham Lincoln’s speech where he declared the last Thursday of November as Thanksgiving Day. Perhaps, consider reading it to your children (those of age to understand). In the full speech, he pointed out how God had continued to bless this country despite the Civil War. It gives one a lot to think about and reflect on this Thanksgiving.

“To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God….No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

For the rest of the speech, click here.

On this Thanksgiving, may we all reflect with gratitude on the numerous blessings He has provided-all because of Grace.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This past week I have been on vacation in beautiful California. Keeping up with my gratitude list has been rather easy when walking the beaches of the Pacific and enjoying the mild coastal weather. After all, it’s not hard to be grateful when life is going well. I can quickly count off all the things I am thankful for when there have been no obstacles or trials in my life. This is especially true during enjoyable events, vacations, and new experiences.

But when life is mundane and boring, I struggle with gratitude. And when life is hard and the tears blind my eyes, counting God’s graces seems almost impossible.

Then I read this: “I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.” (Psalm 7:17)

Giving thanks isn’t about me and whether God is doing what I want Him to do in my life. It’s about Him. He is the creator and sustainer of all things. He alone deserves praise, honor, and worship simply because He is holy, righteous, and good.

And when I don’t give thanks, when I hold it back because life is hard, I am in a sense robbing God of the thanks and praise that is due Him.

Whether He blesses me in abundance or takes me through a dark valley of suffering, He always deserves praise and thanksgiving because He is God. His righteousness alone is worthy of my gratitude.

This is why the four living creatures in John’s vision never stop saying, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” (Revelation 4:8)

In fact, giving thanks is what I was made for. The confession says that “the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” Praise, honor, worship, thanksgiving, and gratitude is what my heart was made to do. Having a heart of gratitude isn’t some trendy thing to do. It’s not a feel good exercise to greater self-fulfillment. Living a life of gratitude is simply living out what I was created to do.

The beautiful thing about doing what we were made for is that it brings us great joy. It completes us, fulfills us, and satisfies us. Knowing Him and responding to His wonder and beauty with thanksgiving is the very thing and only thing that fills all the empty places of the heart.

“I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.” Psalm 9:1-2

Continuing to count and give thanks in community: (#1938-1950)

God’s holiness, that He is the “I am”

Driving over the bridge on the way home just as the sun was setting

The way my ladies bible study is helping us all to grow, change, and learn

The opportunity to join my husband in San Diego while he was there for work

The miraculous behavior of the boys during the long day of travel from FL to CA

Beautiful, sunny southern CA

How the names of God provides healing to the wounds in my heart

this fun Hobbit study my friend is doing

seeing seals lying on the beach in CA

discovering a hang gliding spot and watching the gliders take off with the ocean below them

Finding a doctor who makes hotel visits

Taking the kids to the Melting Pot for the first time and hearing “This is the best restaurant ever!”

Linking up with these friends:

The years, they fly by fast. And even faster since I crossed my mid-thirties. My youth and health that I once took for granted are on their way to becoming a memory.

Today I turn 37. Not a milestone by any means, but since my birthday lands on the day of the week where I list all the ways God has blessed me, it has given me an opportunity for reflection. Looking back over the years, I realize just how much of my life I’ve wasted. Most days I’ve spent waiting for the future, letting the present pass me by. “I’ll be happy once I find a better job.” “I’ll engage in community once we have a bigger house.” “I’ll be a better mom once my kids sleep through the night.” “My life will be better once my husband’s job slows down.” “If I didn’t live in Florida, I would be much happier.” And on and on.

For so long, I denied myself joy, thinking it wasn’t attainable until my life was ordered exactly as I wanted it. I never considered that joy was possible even in the midst of sleepless nights, financial troubles, or delayed dreams. Happiness is something I’ve always connected to circumstances, not a condition of the heart.

Since I started counting God’s graces two and half years ago, I’ve experienced a gradual shift in perspective. My eyes have been opened to see the countless acts of grace from a generous heavenly Father. Like one of my kid’s games where you have to search a busy image for a specific item, counting gifts requires looking past the big picture and deep into the details. From the tastes of favorite foods to the butterfly resting on a flower to the sleepy smile on my son’s face each morning-all are gifts to treasure.

Because I don’t deserve anything but have graciously been given more than I can count.

Counting these gifts have shifted my heart from always demanding more to seeing how much I already have. My heart’s posture is learning to bend in gratitude to the many gifts He gives. When I look at what He has already given me in Christ, through Christ, and because of Christ, I realize I already have everything I’ve ever needed.

But He continues to give so much more.

And so, as I face another year before me, I am thankful for this life. While there are challenges, trials, and uncertainties, I know that each and every circumstance in my life is a gift from God, for my good and for His glory. Though I regret the many years I spent grumbling and complaining about the taste of the manna I was given, I now realize just how rich and sweet that manna is. As I continue my journey of living a life of praise to my Savior, I look forward to seeing what gifts He will hand me in this next year.

Counting gifts in community (#1904-1924):

37 years of life:)

enjoying the sweet taste of manna each day

the generosity of God’s grace to my undeserving self

lessons learned and the ones yet to be learned

finding the gratitude community 2 1/2 years ago

visiting a friend who finally finished cancer treatments

after two weeks away, returning home safe and sound

waking my youngest up by singing happy birthday to him

celebrating Ian’s 5th birthday

going out with friend’s for my birthday

sangria, paella, laughter and fun

the tropical storm that came through was not nearly as bad as the last one

opening the windows and doors and letting the winds blow through the house

a day in pjs!

pumpkin oatmeal

new blogging friends

clean laundry

getting back into routine

the birthday presents I bought for myself:)

Starbucks giftcards!

Linking up with these friends: