Ethan started his gifted class this week.  He seemed to really like it and reported more on what he did in there than he has about his regular class.  One thing I did notice is that his perfectionism was more pronounced that day after being in the gifted class (yes, it is possible for him to be even more of a perfectionist).  I think he’s so used to being the smartest one in the class and in the gifted class, he’s not.  He was beating himself up all afternoon, saying “I can’t do anything right.”  When I picked him up from school, he soon remembered that he had left a drawing on his desk that he had been working on in the gifted class.  He was very upset and cried for quite a while.  The school has a policy that the kids are responsible for their own things and if they forget or lose something, they experience the consequences for it.  For example, if they forget their lunch at home their parents are not to bring it to the school for them.  It will be challenging for him to adjust to not always knowing everything but I know it will be good for him.

Last night I went to the curriculum night at the gifted class.  They will be doing a world traveling theme this year and will be learning a lot about geography and other cultures.  The teacher will incorporate math, reading and science into what they are learning.  She is really great and totally GETS gifted kids.  She understands their idiosyncrasies, sensitivities, energy, and desire to learn.  They are not supposed to have to make up missed work from their regular class, just show proficiency at whatever skill they may have missed.  I know he is going to love being in her class and will probably wish he was in there everyday.

So this is week two of Ethan in public school.  Today he started his gifted class and he seemed excited about going.  It’s still really weird to me to drop him off every morning and never talk to the teacher.  I got an update everyday from his preschool teacher on how he was doing.  So I feel disconnected.  I’ve been encouraged to volunteer so that I can be more connected at the school.  And I have plans to and was going to this week.  But Ian got sick with tonsilitis.  And I’m actually glad that’s what he has because I was afraid it was an ear infection and that we would have to put him through surgery this fall. 

So week two of school and Ian is already sick.  Thankfully I didn’t have anything too major planned that I had to cancel.  Next week starts a bible study I’m co-teaching at church and I’m glad he is sick this week-I’d hate to miss the first week of bible study.  We are all very tired from getting up early everyday to take Ethan to school.  Ethan is extremely tired and trying really hard to hold it together.  We’ve had a few tough moments but God has been gracious and he is teaching Ethan how to handle things. 

And most importantly, I have not lamented about not homeschooling or sending him to private school.  So far that is:)  I’m working really hard on being more intential at home with his biblical education and as long as I don’t develop a habit of hitting snooze, I’ll be okay:)

Last night and today I attended open house and orientation for kindergarten and open house for preschool.  I think I have more to read and sign than I ever did for buying a house.  I’m a little overwhelmed by all the information that has been thrown at me.  But Ethan is in a good class with a good teacher.  He seems pretty excited about going to school and doesn’t seem nervous at all.  I talked to the guidance counselor and apparently all of Ethan’s gifted paperwork has not made it to the school yet and his educational plan can’t be done until they have it.  We’re a little frustrated with that because it means he may miss a week or two of the gifted class.  There’s another child in his class who will be attending the gifted program so that will be nice for Ethan to have someone else to go with. 

Ian’s preschool open house was nothing new though he does have a different teacher than I had requested.  But the teacher did tell me that she will challenge the kids who already know the information she is teaching and provide homework and other activities to help them learn more.  I think Ian is a little confused because he has been there all summer and had a different teacher and even though I kept telling him he was moving to a bigger kid class, he still thought he was in his old class.  Ethan saw his teacher from pre-k and ran to give her a hug-so cute.

Well I’m off to do a bit of reading…and signing.  Sigh.

Last night for our date night, we saw Ethan’s psychologist.  I know, kind of lame even the Dr. teased us about it.  He suggested that we at least go out for drinks afterward so it feels a little like a date night:)  We met with him to get parenting advice on raising a kid who is smarter than we are.  He was VERY helpful, encouraging, and supportive.  One thing he wants us to do is make sure we treat him like an average 5 yr old even though he can process like a much older child, i.e. no logical discussions about rules and consequences.  On occassion I have had to restrain Ethan using restraining techniques we had used at my last job.  The Dr. runs the EAP at the local sheriff’s dept. and suggested we use the restraining techniques he teaches them there.  I think it will actually work better for me and tire me out less. 

We all agreed that things will improve once he is in school and has a consistent routine where his mind is continually stimulated.  He’s convinced that Ethan will love the gifted program at his school and will thrive there.  We talked about ways to keep him stimulated at home until then, but acknowledged the challenge that can be when I also have a two yr. old around at the same time.   We also talked about Ethan’s love language being quality time and how to go about filling that.  He suggested that Ethan have a later bedtime than Ian, partly so we can spend one on one time with him.  (that’ll be tough to convince Ian of!).  I’m very glad we made the appointment and am hopeful we can get him back on track. 

We had a lot of challenging moments this summer with Ethan.  Talking to a good friend who has a child with a high IQ has been very helpful.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot and have come to some conclusions.  I have realized that there is a delicate balance that we need to find between too much stimulation and not enough stimulation.  Too much on either end results in meltdown.  A gifted person has so much going on in their brain already that when they reach overload, it’s too much to process.  On the other hand, when they get bored, they need to stimulate their brain.  We’ve walked this tightrope with Ethan.  I can’t seem to keep up with the amount of stimulation his brain needs to keep him from getting bored.  When he gets bored he does things that drive me and Ian crazy.  When he’s had too much: an extra playdate, a birthday party, a long day, it’s too much for him and he can’t handle it.  I’ve learned that when he has a busy day full of activity that for the next couple of days, we have to lay low. 

So, this does make me wonder how it will be for him to go to school.  It’s a long day full of stimulation and I anticpate a lot of problems when he gets home each afternoon.  He’s very athletic and we would love to start him up with soccer again in the fall but I think it will be too much to add on to school.  So, these are my challenges.  I’ve scheduled an appointment with the psychologist for George and I to meet with and get some advice.  Hoping he has some good ideas:)

George and I got a chance to talk last night about our decision for the fall. He and I both have been talking to friends who have walked this road before with their gifted kids and got some good advice. It looks like we are going to try the public school for kindergarten but we don’t want to burn our bridges a the Christian school in case we’re not happy with our decision. I ultimately decided I did not want to have to hold the kindergarten teacher’s hand and constantly be on her about challenging Ethan because if I did that, I might as well teach him myself and save a lot of money. I also did not want to spend the year frustrated with her. I also was disappointed that while they made an attempt to try and arrange schedules so that Ethan could attend first grade classes, when it wouldn’t work they did not come up with an alternate plan. I know that teachers are by nature and training planners and I was suprised that they had not come up with a specific plan for different ways they would keep Ethan from boredom while the class is learning that A says ahhh and B says buh. A friend that I spoke to said she would pray for contentment for our decision and that’s definitely what we need. I don’t want to spend the whole year thinking “If only..” so I’m praying for contentment with this decision and that God would bless it. I think God is trying to teach me something through this whole experience. Anyone who’s read my blog for a long time will know that I really wanted to home school the kids and my husband is not comfortable with it so we compromised on the Christian school. Ironically, as it turns out, Ethan is too intelligent for me to homeschool for very long (did I mention that when we went to the gifted classroom this week the class was working on a complicated algebraic math problem?) and also too intelligent for the kindergarten class in private school. So we come back to the schooling choice I would have never chosen. God leads us to places we often would not have expected on our journey here and while I’m disappointed with this change in plans, I am also excited to see what God has in store for me and for Ethan this next year.

As I posted last week, I was feeling disappointed after talking to the teacher at the Christian school. Today we went to the public school to observe the gifted class for about an hour. It was very cool and the teacher was awesome. She really knew how to deal with the kids and their sensitivities. The projects they were working on were really neat. I know Ethan would fit in perfectly and really blossom in her class. We then went to talk to the assistant principal and asked her about kindergarten in general. We left feeling like the school as a whole really knows how to nurture and teach gifted kids. I’ve been really torn since my meeting last week and my experience today didn’t help. If Ethan were an average kid, the Christian school we’ve chosen would fit our needs perfectly but since we’ve learned that he isn’t, it seems to change things a lot. I’m disappointed as it seems like we are leaning more toward placing him in public school for kindergarten and I believe I’m turning on my convictions. As George says, its just for kindergarten and we can easily switch him if it’s not working. We have until the end of the week to decide so we can get our hefty deposit back from the Christian school. We have cooresponded with the principal there today to discuss our concerns further and he is kind to offer to give us our money back. I’ve decided to just give it to the Lord, Ethan belongs to Him and He knows what is best for him. And sometimes what we assume is the best thing for our kids really isn’t.

I recently read a quote from Helping Gifted Children Soar, “Parenting a gifted chid is like living in a theme park full of thrill rides. Sometimes you smile. Sometimes you gasp. Sometimes you scream. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you gaze in wonder and astonishment. Sometimes you’re frozen in your seat. Sometimes you’re proud. And sometimes, the ride is so nerve-wracking, you can’t do anything but cry.” This is a fitting quote since we are headed up to Disney today. And also fitting because this morning I took Ethan to where he is registered for kindergarten for some testing. They told me it would be easy for him and that is how he described it. During the test, I met with the kindergarten teacher to talk about him and his educational needs. She honestly seems overwhelmed by the concept of having him in her class, given what he is already capable of and what he will be doing by the time school starts. At one point, she seemed to be encouraging me to send him to public school for kindergarten and come back to them for first grade. She told me that she and the first grade teacher and the administrator met and tried to see how they could move things around for Ethan to go to the first grade class for at least math but it looks like they won’t be able to swing it. This is disappointing but really not suprising. She is very concerned about Ethan being bored in her class and I pointed out to her that he would be bored in a public school kindergarten class as well. Unless preschool were to become legally mandatory, every kindergartener has to be treated as though they never went to preschool so that everyone can get on the same page. She did say that as long as she has an aid in her class for next year, she belieces she will be able to keep him challenged. The question is what to do if she doesn’t have an aid? I left feeling kind of worried and had to confess this to God because ultimately, Ethan belongs to Him and He has a plan for him. God will ensure that Ethan receives the training he needs for God’s calling in his life and no amount of worrying on my part will make any changes. The last few years I have constantly wavered between whether I should continue to teach Ethan at home and satisfy his desire for learning or stop doing so because the more I teach him, the more advanced he becomes. There are no easy answers or solutions and as Father Tim in the Mitford Series always said, “Pray the prayer that never fails. Thy will be done.”

I’m continuing to read more about giftedness and am still learning a lot. It’s like we’ve found the answer to a great mystery:) If this stuff is boring to you, don’t read any further! I’m now reading “Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults.” The last book I read briefly covered the characteristics of gifted kids and mostly focused on educational concerns. This new book focuses a great deal on the characteristics of those who are gifted or to use the technical term: “overexcitabilities.” The categories of overexcitabilities include: psychomotor, sensual, intellectual, imaginational, and emotional. Some of what is covered in this book, I had learned in the last book I read. But a few new things have jumped out at me. Ever since we had Ethan, and now Ian too, I’ve wondered why does everyone elses children sleep so much better than mine? Neither of our boys have required the amount of sleep as most kids and both gave up their naps way before most kids do and I have learned that this is a common characteristic of gifted kids. Finally an answer! Ethan’s psychmotor activity has always been a mystery to me and I mostly blamed it on his gender. When he reads books to me, he is in constant motion and while the motion is distracting to me, he is able to stay on task and read. The book pointed out that with gifted kids, they often need to move to stay focused on their task. This at least helps me to not be so annoyed when he’s climbing all over the couch while we are reading a book. Overall, since I’ve been reading on this subject and talking to professionals about it, it has significantly helped me in my interactions and patience level with Ethan. I’m finding myself being more prepared with ways to keep him stimulated during the day and I can better understand his various sensitivities. One way to look at these kids is to relate it to television channels. Most people are born with just basic tv, ten channels or so. But gifted kids are born with satellite tv, with more channels to choose from than they know what to do with. This can overwhelm them and they can freeze and not be able to make decisions. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have more of this to share as time goes on. The problem for me is not only is it interesting because of Ethan but also because all psychological research is fascinating to me:)