Have you ever prayed for something and God answered your prayer, just not in the way you expected?
This past week, I beheld grace face to face and the reflection I saw of my heart was not immediate joy. Instead, like the Israelites in the desert, my response was ungrateful and filled with discontentment.
I’ve wanted a new dishwasher. I’ve prayed about it. I’ve made it known to my family that I wanted one. I returned home from being out with my mother-in-law last weekend to a surprise-a new dishwasher. My boy’s faces were full of expectation and excitement. They had worked hard the night before helping my husband install it.
And what did I say when I saw it? “That’s not the one I would have chosen. I really wanted to go to the appliance store and select it myself.”
Yes, it was quite shameful.
I’ve spent the past few years searching for joy, seeking out His grace, counting all His gifts, and when one came unexpectedly, I didn’t even see it. I prayed for a dishwasher and He provided one. How could I then miss it?
Sometimes, God answers our requests in ways we wouldn’t expect:
- you’ll gather bread every morning off the ground to eat
- to conquer the city, you’ll have to walk around it seven times
- to restore your health, you’ll have to dunk in the river seven times
- you’ll conquer a large army with a mere three hundred men
- go lay your nets in the water even though you’ve fished all day and haven’t caught a thing
- sell everything you have if you want to follow me
Like the Israelites, I complain I am hungry and then complain when He feeds me. I ask for healing and then doubt that His cure really works. I seek His wisdom and then say it’s not the wisdom I was looking for. I face giants and cry out for His help and then say the help He offers isn’t enough.
Yet the wonder of it all, His grace is greater than my weak faith, my ungrateful heart, and my selfish ways. Christ came to save me from myself because I couldn’t. The essence of grace is that it is undeserved and undeserving is what I am. But He not only gave me grace once at the cross to save me from eternity apart from God, He gives me grace every day, every moment, and saves me from the sin that still remains in my heart.
I am a wanderer, wandering all over this desert life. Always trying to do life on my own and then complaining when God doesn’t ride in like a knight in shining armor to rescue me. Easily forgetful, I fail to remember what He has done and what He has promised. But for grace, I would be a hopeless mess. Because of grace, my messes are cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.
Singing this song today, thankful for a new dishwasher, grace, and for Christ who always leads my wandering heart safely back home.
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise His Name, I’m fixed upon it
Name of God’s redeeming loveOh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
Let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts aboveHere’s my heart, oh, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above(Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing)
Counting grace in community (#2091-2107):
God’s endless supply of grace
that no matter how far I wander, He always finds me
for my sweet boys who wanted me to have a new dishwasher
for their forgiveness of my lack of gratitude
for clean dishes:)
for answered prayer
Thin Mints cookies
the boys getting out their train tracks after many months of neglect and building a track
our Apologia science curriculum-I just love it!
hot tea for my cold
getting a sample of my son’s medicine at the doctor so I wouldn’t have to pay a fortune to fill the prescription
boys swimming in the pool in February:)
a fun Pinewood Derby race-Ethan won first in his den:)
the amazing things that kids can construct from PVC pipes and the even more amazing thing it becomes when it’s attached to the pool fountain
my dear friend buying a house closer to me:)
a picnic at the park after church
Linking up today with these friends:
SO appreciate your honest, transparent heart. I needed this today
Thank you! I want to be real and honest here. Too much of life is spent covering ourselves up to impress the world. I appreciate you visiting my messy place:)
Sorry you have a cold! Thankful you have a loving Father to care for you.
Thanks, Emily:) Yes, He always takes care of me, doesn’t He. So thankful for His faithfulness!
A lot of truth in this post. So easy to overlook grace because it isn’t exactly what we wanted. I’ve been guilty of this so, so many times myself. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. It is always so appreciated. And thank You, God, for such abundant grace! I am always in such need of it.
Yes, praise God for His endless supply of grace! And thank you Mary for your kind words. Blessings to you!
Ohhhh I’ve done things similar. Glad for clean dishe!
Glad I’m not alone:)
“Because of grace . . .”
oh, i could finish this sentence so many ways. (and i love the way you finished it above.)
but i think i’m just gonna let the Truth marinate and bring forth the gratitude.
thanks for this, friend. thanks for the reminder.
Thanks, Kelli. I’m so glad we can relish His grace together:)
Oh friend, I too have been there, more than I’d care to admit. So thankful that God continues to pour out grace upon grace on our worn and tattered hearts.
It’s makes me wonder how many times I do it. How often do I miss grace? This one was a bigger one, but what about all the little ones? So thankful you stopped by Barbie!
I just wanna hug you. Thank you for your vulnerability in this post. Love the reflection parallel. Praying today our reflections mirror Christ today in all we do, say, and even feel. Lord, let us glorify you, God, in all things. I also giggled when I read in your list of things you were thankful for was “Clean Dishes.” Have a gorgeous week!
Thanks, I love hugs:) And I’m so glad you stopped by to share your encouraging words with me today!
That is how I have responded to gifts too. Shameful for me!! So thankful for His grace!!
And for your honesty and vulnerability - that we can work on gratitude together!
Seeking Him with you!!
Thank you
{found you at better mom}
His grace is amazing, isn’t it? Thanks so much for stopping by!
ack! it’s embarrassing, isn’t it. when it’s there so clearly and we disregard His gifts? You have such a gift of ensuring me I’m not alone. thank you, friend.
and I’m easily being talked into Apologia Science for next year!
Thank you, sweet friend! And Apologia is so much fun! We are doing swimming creatures with our co-op. I have learned a lot myself:) I definitely recommend the lap books too.
love that song - appreciated reading your thoughts and your list today.
Oh so do I! I often find myself humming it:) Thanks for visiting!
Hey girl,
Beautiful post, but I’m a little fixated on your photo…LOVE it. Yours?
Amy, the photo is one I took of a sign that hangs up at my church:) I think it’s just a pallet.
Christina - love getting a chance to finally comment on your blog again. And this post was perfect, very similar to mine that I just posted. I love reading your open heart, always have and I am so thankful to finally back. I am so encouraged by you!! And this, “that no matter how far I wander, He always finds me”… me too, my friend, me too!!!
Kari, so glad you stopped by! From one wandering soul to another-so thankful He seeks us out:)
I’m easily forgetful too. Thanks for reminding me with your honest post.
Hey, I love that pallet sign, too!
I can relate well. I love this post! So thankful for his tender mercy.
Grateful for #TellHisStory linkup which allowed me to access some balm for my sore heart today. Bless you Sister!