Recently, I had the kids imagine what it would be like if there was no one in charge. What if there were no rules and everyone could do whatever they wanted? As we talked about what it would be like for cars to drive on the road without any traffic lights and for people to steal whatever they wanted, my kids quickly saw how out of control and dangerous it would be to have no rules.

Every family needs rules to function and maintain order. In our morning devotions that past couple of weeks, I’ve been reviewing with my boys our family rules. More than just reminding them of what is expected of them, I’ve been going through each rule and helping them understand why we have it. We’ve read the Scriptures behind each rule, discussed practical application, and practiced living out the rules.

If you don’t have stated rules in your house, you are welcome to print out ours. To print out a copy for yourself, click here. I like for rules to be listed in the positive. Rather than a list of things not to do, our rules focus on what they are to do.

As fallen sinners, we are unable to keep rules in our own strength. Each time my children fail to keep a rule, I remind them that Jesus died for them because they can’t perfectly obey. I also remind them that they need the Spirit’s power to help them obey. We then pray for God to work in their heart and enable them to love and obey Him.

Below I’ve provided activities, Bible passages, and discussion questions that I use with my children when talking with them about our family’s rules:

1. With our whole heart, we love, honor, trust, obey and serve our Lord Jesus Christ.

This rule is modeled after the first commandment. It is the first of our rules because it is the most important. Out of this rule flow all the others; when we obey this rule, the other rules naturally follow. As our Lord said, the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart.

Passages to read: Exodus 20:3-11, Luke 10:27 and John 14:15

Discussion: Discuss what it means to love God with your whole heart. What do we often fill our hearts with instead of God? Discuss what it means to show honor to someone, like a king for example. What does it mean for someone to commit treason against their country? Explain how loving anything other than God is like an act of treason to our Creator.

Activity suggestion: Consider doing an activity we call the “God shaped hole.” Draw an outline of a body. Draw a circle, or hole, In the area where the person’s heart would be. Cut pictures and words out of magazines of things we fill our hearts with rather than God and glue them on the hole. Discuss the concept of the God shaped hole. Another activity would be to paint and decorate a small wooden treasure box and talk about Jesus being our heart’s true treasure. Another activity that can be done as a whole family is to create a collage of words and images showing all the ways God blesses us.

2. We listen, respect and obey our parents and those God has placed in authority over us.

Passages to read and discuss include: Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20 and Proverbs 4:10-13.

Discussion: Pretend you live in a world where there are no rules or people in charge. What would happen? Why has God placed your parents over you? Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to give you an obedient heart.

Activity suggestion: Write a thankyou note to parents or other authority figures, thanking them for all they do for you.Talk with someone who is or has been in the military. Ask them about the rules they have to follow, the chain of command in the military, and the consequences they have for violating rules.

Consider reading the book “I’ll Love You Anyway and Always” by Bryan Chapell.

3. We only use words that build one another up.

Read and memorize: 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Proverbs 15:1 and Ephesians 4:29.

Discussion: How does it feel when someone speaks unkindly to you? Take turns telling each other three things you love about each other.

Activity suggestions: Consider doing a word picture activity that helps your children see what it looks like to “tear someone down.” For example: have your child build a tower out of legos or other blocks and then you or someone else knock it down. Talk about how they feel about it being knocked down. Point out that when they say something unkind to someone else, they are tearing that person down.

Another helpful word picture: have your child squirt out an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathroom sink. Then ask them to put all the toothpaste back inside the tube. When they say, “That’s not possible!” point out that when they say mean things to someone else, they can’t take it back.

4. We treat and respond to each other with kindness and respect.

This rule includes our attitude, our tone of voice as well as hitting, kicking, etc. Read 1 Corinthians 13, Ephesians 4:32 and 1 Thessalonians 5:15.

Discuss: What are some practical things you can do to show kindness to each other? Have your children practice responding in kindness when someone does something they don’t like. Teach them how to use words to express their feelings and have them practice regularly. Discuss how Jesus responded to those who hurt him. Talk about how He gave up His life for those who hated Him.

For preschool age and early kindergarten children, consider reading the book “The Golden Rule” by Dandi Daley Mackall.

5. We put others first, looking for ways to help and serve.

Read and discuss passages such as Mark 9:35, Philippians 2:3-11 and Galatians 5:13-14.

Activity Suggestions: If you don’t already have one, make a chore list so that everyone can contribute to helping out around the house. Consider reading the story of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet and take turns washing one another’s feet. Discuss why was it so significant that Jesus would do that. Talk about humility and what it looks like when someone is humble.

6. We tell the truth at all times.

Read Proverbs 12:22, John 8:44 and Proverbs 12:19.

Discuss the first lie in the garden, the one Satan told and Adam and Eve believed. What happened? How do lies destroy relationships? What if you had a friend who always lied—how difficult would it be to trust him/her?

7. We take care of our belongings and the things God has given us.

Read James 1:17, Haggai 2:8, 1 Chronicles 29:10-14.

Discussion: Talk with your children about how blessed they really are, especially compared to other countries around the world. Discuss how they would feel if they gave someone a gift and that person wasn’t careful with it or didn’t take good care of it, how would they feel?

Activity suggestion: Consider having your children go through their toys and clothing and donate what they don’t use or need to those less fortunate. Have them write a thank you note to God for all the things they are grateful for that He has provided for them. For younger ones, have them draw what they are thankful for instead.

8. We are content with what we have and have a heart of gratitude rather than a grumbling, complaining heart.

Read: 1 Timothy 6:6,8 and Hebrews 13:5.

Activity suggestion: Read to your children about the Israelites wandering in the desert. Have them set up tents and pretend to live in the wilderness.Talk about the Israelites discontentment and the way they complained and grumbled for the way God provided for them. When God isn’t first place in our heart, we become discontent. Consider baking a loaf of bread together and discuss what it means for Jesus to be “the bread of life.” What does it look like for Jesus to be our everything?

I’d love to hear about your family’s rules. How have you taught them to your children?

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