October | 2012 |

The Healer of Our Soul: Psalms of Lament

30. October 2012 · 11 comments · Categories: Anxiety, Depression, fear, Spiritual Growth · Tags: The Healer of Our Souls

This post begins a mini series on the power of God’s Word in healing our wounded souls.

When the heart weighs heavy, it begs for relief. The burden of sorrow, grief, and pain is sometimes impossible to bear. Feeling alone and abandoned, the heart sinks into despair.

“I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.” Psalm 6:6

My own heart has been in this place many times. Drowning in despair, I have wondered if it was even okay to feel such heavy feelings. Sometimes, I’ve questioned if God had rejected me because of my dark emotions. And the thought that always lingered, will I ever get out from underneath the weight of sorrow?

Intense emotions can be isolating. We think no one else can understand. Our life seems too messy to share with others. God may seem silent and we wonder if He’s left us. We feel stuck in the bottom of a pit and think we’ll never be able to climb out.

Our thoughts and emotions whisper lies, keeping us in the pit. The truth is we have not been abandoned or left alone. God promises to never leave us or forsakes us. He knew there would be times when we would be overcome by feelings. He provided a place for us to go, process them, and find the freedom to voice those feelings directly to Him: The Psalms.

The book of Psalms expresses all the range of emotions that humans feel. Calvin described the Psalms as “an anatomy of all the parts of the soul.” The book contains Psalms of thanksgiving and praise, where the writer voices his joy in the Lord. There are Psalms that recount God’s provision and salvation from enemies. The Psalms also speaks to all the wounded places of the human heart: grief, sorrow, fear, injustice, and guilt. These Psalms are called laments and it is in these Psalms where we find the form and structure for expressing to God our own feelings.

In the Psalms of lament, we find that we are not alone. These overwhelming feelings have been experienced by others before us. The laments also show us that God wants to hear from us. Many of the Psalms were used by the Jews in their corporate worship, even the Psalms of lament. God desires that we come to Him with all our feelings, no matter how painful and intense. Because it is God who is the healer of our souls.

There are more Psalms of lament than any other kind in the book of Psalms. Many are penned by King David, the man after God’s own heart. All but two of these laments follow this structure: an expression of the author’s feelings, followed by asking for something the author needs, and ending with an affirmation of trust in God.

The laments ask the difficult questions of life such as, “How long?” “Why?” and “When will you answer me?” They also seek specific answers from God including, asking for relief, for healing, for salvation and for rescue. Lastly, they end with an expression of trust in God. They give God praise and thanksgiving for all He has done in the past and all that He will do in the future.

“How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” Psalm 13:2

Psalms 44 and 88 are the only two that do not follow this form; they don’t end in praise and thanksgiving. Perhaps this is because there are times when our emotions are so overwhelming, we need the Holy Spirit to intercede and express to God for us what is on our heart. “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26).

When sorrows overwhelm the heart, we need to go to God with those burdens. We don’t need to clean ourselves up first before coming into God’s presence. Jesus already did that for us. Because of Christ, our messy lives and heavy hearts have been covered by grace. We are free to come into the presence of God, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, and pour out our heart at His feet. Asking for healing and grace, we bring to Him all our burdens.

Using the structure of the laments, we can put our feelings into words. Writing them as a prayer to God can be a part of the healing process. But even when words fail us, which sometimes they do, we can trust that He knows what is on our hearts. In faith, we are expectant that He hears us. In hope, we wait for His response. And in love, we trust that His joy will come in the morning.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” Psalm 13:5-6

Have you ever written a lament to God? How have the Psalms helped you?

Linking with these friends:

and Intentional.Me

Book Study: Week 8

30. October 2012 · Write a comment · Categories: Book Study

For those who are reading Respectable Sins, we are now in week 8. How is this book changing you?

I would like to say that I don’t struggle with anger, but I can’t. This week’s book discussion focuses on Chapters 15 and 16 of Respectable Sins. Both of these chapters deal with the sin of anger.

Questions for thought and discussion:

1. Do you agree with Bridges’ observation that anger is often directed toward those we should love most? Why or why not?

2. How would you define anger?

3. How does righteous anger differ from sinful anger?

4. Do other people cause us to feel anger? Why or why not?

5. What are some typical situations in which you feel anger?

6. Bridges’ talks about being “mindful of God” when we are angry. What questions should we ask ourselves when we are dealing with people’s responses toward us? (p. 124) (Read Romans 8:28 and Hebrews 12:4-11)

7. Bridges suggests there are 3 different kinds of anger responses 1) externalize with strong words 2) externalize in subtle ways and 3) internalize with resentment. Which are you? Would you add other types of anger responses to this list?

8. How does he recommend that we handle our anger? (p.125-126)

9. Have you ever had anger toward God? How should we deal with that?

10. Read Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:8, and 2 Corinthians 12:20

11. What types of anger develop as the result of unresolved anger? (p. 130-132). Can you give examples?

12. What should be our first defense against allowing anger to linger? (p. 134) How about the second and third defense?

13. What does the parable of the unforgiving servant tells us about forgiveness and holding on to anger? (Matthew 18:21-35)

14. Why should we forgive others the offenses they have done to us?

For this week:

Meditate on this quote from page 137, “The damage to God’s glory by our sin is determined not by the severity of our sin but by the value of God’s glory.”

Is there someone in your life you need to forgive whom you have been harboring anger against?

On Growing in Joy

29. October 2012 · 18 comments · Categories: Gratitude Community

The years, they fly by fast. And even faster since I crossed my mid-thirties. My youth and health that I once took for granted are on their way to becoming a memory.

Today I turn 37. Not a milestone by any means, but since my birthday lands on the day of the week where I list all the ways God has blessed me, it has given me an opportunity for reflection. Looking back over the years, I realize just how much of my life I’ve wasted. Most days I’ve spent waiting for the future, letting the present pass me by. “I’ll be happy once I find a better job.” “I’ll engage in community once we have a bigger house.” “I’ll be a better mom once my kids sleep through the night.” “My life will be better once my husband’s job slows down.” “If I didn’t live in Florida, I would be much happier.” And on and on.

For so long, I denied myself joy, thinking it wasn’t attainable until my life was ordered exactly as I wanted it. I never considered that joy was possible even in the midst of sleepless nights, financial troubles, or delayed dreams. Happiness is something I’ve always connected to circumstances, not a condition of the heart.

Since I started counting God’s graces two and half years ago, I’ve experienced a gradual shift in perspective. My eyes have been opened to see the countless acts of grace from a generous heavenly Father. Like one of my kid’s games where you have to search a busy image for a specific item, counting gifts requires looking past the big picture and deep into the details. From the tastes of favorite foods to the butterfly resting on a flower to the sleepy smile on my son’s face each morning-all are gifts to treasure.

Because I don’t deserve anything but have graciously been given more than I can count.

Counting these gifts have shifted my heart from always demanding more to seeing how much I already have. My heart’s posture is learning to bend in gratitude to the many gifts He gives. When I look at what He has already given me in Christ, through Christ, and because of Christ, I realize I already have everything I’ve ever needed.

But He continues to give so much more.

And so, as I face another year before me, I am thankful for this life. While there are challenges, trials, and uncertainties, I know that each and every circumstance in my life is a gift from God, for my good and for His glory. Though I regret the many years I spent grumbling and complaining about the taste of the manna I was given, I now realize just how rich and sweet that manna is. As I continue my journey of living a life of praise to my Savior, I look forward to seeing what gifts He will hand me in this next year.

Counting gifts in community (#1904-1924):

37 years of life:)

enjoying the sweet taste of manna each day

the generosity of God’s grace to my undeserving self

lessons learned and the ones yet to be learned

finding the gratitude community 2 1/2 years ago

visiting a friend who finally finished cancer treatments

after two weeks away, returning home safe and sound

waking my youngest up by singing happy birthday to him

celebrating Ian’s 5th birthday

going out with friend’s for my birthday

sangria, paella, laughter and fun

the tropical storm that came through was not nearly as bad as the last one

opening the windows and doors and letting the winds blow through the house

a day in pjs!

pumpkin oatmeal

new blogging friends

clean laundry

getting back into routine

the birthday presents I bought for myself:)

Starbucks giftcards!

Linking up with these friends:

Teach Me Jesus Thursdays: Children and Technology

25. October 2012 · 6 comments · Categories: Parenting, Teach Me Jesus

Source

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I love the convenience, the access to knowledge and the ability to communicate quickly with others. On social networking sites, it’s fun to see what my friends are up to and to share the antics of my children. Despite this, I’ve actually broken up with Facebook and Twitter several times. But they always pull me back.

Let’s face it, technology is part of the very fabric of our lives and we can’t live without it.

What concerns me the most about all forms of technology is its addictive nature. If you’ve ever been on Pinterest, you know what I mean! It can suck you in and consume all your time. Technology has actually trained our brains to require quick responses to everything. We’ve become used to the constant stream of information and images on a screen. It has made us unable to simply sit and use our imagination. Instead, we have to always check for new emails, messages, or responses.

I find this especially true for my children’s generation. While technology is helpful in keeping them occupied during a long doctor’s visit, they too struggle to simply sit and be “bored.” I find that they are so accustomed to playing a game on my phone or watching a show on the iPad, that if ever we are waiting for something, one will turn to me and say, “I’m bored. Can I have your phone?”

I read an article once on this very subject in one of my professional magazines. The article cautioned that technology is “rewiring” the brain for speed. It stated, “technology, therefore, is changing the very nature of modern stress. It demands over-engagement-a sort of “go-go-go” mentality. The digital world is robbing us of “recovery times,” much-needed sleep and rest.” (Archibald Hart and Sylvia Hart Frejd in Christian Counseling Today) In essence, when we overuse technology, we maintain a constant high stress level. We are constantly being stimulated by technology, giving us a high cortisol and adrenaline arousal. Our bodies feel like we are in a continual “fight or flight” situation. Ultimately the frequent exposure to technology is changing our brains and the brains of our children.

Whether it’s riding in a car, sitting in a restaurant, or waiting in line at Disney, my kids think they need to always have their hands and eyes occupied. In an effort to help our kids with this “addiction” and to teach them how to use their imagination, we have a few rules on use of technology.

1. Games on the phone are only for doctor’s appointments and meals where we eat out with a large group of people.

2. They only get 20 minutes a day of game time on the computer.

3. TV shows are reserved for first thing in the morning, if there’s time, and before bedtime. Educational shows are acceptable for the late afternoons. Movies are for when traveling or for family movie night.

4. When we go out to eat as a family, we encourage them to bring a book to read or we play games together. We’ve brought our pizza game night board game to the pizza restaurant to play together. We also take turns making up fun stories and adding to them until our meal arrives.

5. Because our kids are highly competitive, playing games on a gaming device has also been problematic. We limit their time on the Wii to when my husband is home to play with them.

Whenever my kids ask why I am limiting their use of their favorite gadgets and games, I teach them about how it affects their brain. I point out to them the activities that are better for their minds to be engaged in. I also remind them that whenever they feel a strong desire to play a game and it upsets them that they can’t, they need to evaluate their heart. I point out that perhaps the game is taking up a place in their heart where Jesus is supposed to be.

One aspect of “teaching Jesus” to our children is teaching them how to self-monitor their entertainment choices. They need to be always mindful of where God is in the priorities of their heart. Anything can try to take God’s place in their heart and we need to guide them to Jesus, their true heart’s treasure.

Have you found this to be true in your family? How do you limit technology with your children?

updated from the archives

Linking up with CSAHM

Book Study: Week 7

23. October 2012 · 3 comments · Categories: Book Study

For those who are sticking it out and still reading Respectable Sins, what is it doing in your heart? While this process is uncomfortable, I am also hopeful because I know God is at work and will use what we are learning to transform and change us to be more like His Son.

Questions for you this week:

1. How is a lack of self-control “like a city broken into and left without wall” (Prov. 25:28)?

2. Read and discuss (2 Timothy 3:3, Titus 2:2,5,6,11-12, 1 Peter 1:13, 4:7, 5:8, 2 Peter 1:5)

3. Define self-control.

4. Does self-control come from our own will power? Where does it come from?

5. How can we exercise self-control is areas like eating and drinking?

6. What verses can we store up in our heart to help us battle temper?

7. How can we exercise self-control in our spending?

8. Bridges points out that we are often patient with those outside our family but it’s at home where our impatience and irritability are most expressed. Do you find this to be true? (Read Ephesians 4:1-2, Colossians 3:12)

9. Do other people’s behavior cause you to be impatient? See the first paragraph on page 117.

10. How does Bridges define irritability?

11. What ways do you express your irritability? (1 Peter 2:23, 4:8)

12. How should we respond to people who are chronically irritable toward us?

Embracing the Grace in Seasons of Change

21. October 2012 · 29 comments · Categories: Gratitude Community, Spiritual Growth

Fall is my favorite season. Living in sunny South Florida, where the palms are always green and the temperature rarely drops below seventy, I don’t get to experience the change in seasons. This past week we were in Georgia and Tennessee where the air was cool and the trees scattered their fallen leaves at our feet.

I walked my favorite paths, enjoying the sounds of the woods. Leaves fell, gentle and quiet, like a light sprinkling of rain. Chipmunks raced one another over the fallen leaves, making crunching sounds that seemed to echo deep into the forest. I breathed in the crisp air and breathed out peace. This is my favorite place to be, where nature gracefully ages from autumn into winter.

Tilting my head back at the trees towering above me, my eyes drank in the expansive canvas. A rainbow of vibrant colors of green, yellow, red, and orange were painted across the trees. The hues were scattered at random, some trees were half green and half yellow. Others all dressed in brilliant red. Still other trees seemed to wait, keeping their leaves green with no hint as to when they would change.

I wanted to stop right there, soak it in, capture the beauty and savor it.

Everything my eyes touched shouted of God’s majesty and wonder. His power and creativity was on display for my pure enjoyment. Each day He provides wonders like this for the world to see and know who He is. All of creation is a testimony to the beauty of God.

As part of His creation, then I too am a testimony to the wonder of our Creator. But does my life shout of His majesty and wonder the way the falling leaves do? Am I a living testimony of how great God is? Do I embrace with joy the changes He brings to my life the way oaks and maples do each fall?

Not so much, I’m afraid.

Too often I have avoided change and resisted the necessary seasons of dying. I have feared the pain of brokenness and the peeling back of sinful flesh to reveal the fresh, new skin beneath. During the winters of waiting, I have complained and stomped my feet about the unfairness of life. While I love nature’s season of change, I don’t embrace it for myself.

In creation, death is a necessary part of the cycle of life. As winter arrives, the trees will quietly sleep, awaiting the spring they know will come. The dead leaves I stepped on during my walks in the woods, will be churned into the soil, creating a fertile habitat for new growth. And in my own life, the dark valleys and seasons of brokenness lead to greater growth in my faith. The shedding of sin and walking through fires of refinement are all necessary to make me increasingly like Christ. For sickness always precedes healing and death comes before resurrection.

But what if I abandoned myself to the work of His hands? What if I, like the trees in autumn, glorified Him in the midst of dying? Can my life shout praises to my Creator, no matter the season? Can I live a life of beauty that points to my Savior, even while experiencing pain and suffering?

I can, simply because Jesus already did. He endured my greatest suffering so I wouldn’t have to. And while He calls me to carry my own cross, He gives grace and strength to submit to His work in me. Because it is not my own ability and perseverance which helps me endure through seasons of change, it is Christ and His power in and through me. The more I abandon myself to Him, the more I embrace seasons of change, the more His beauty will shine through me.

And one day, I will join the trees of the forest in clapping my hands when He returns. For in that day, the dark winters will end and death will be no more.

“You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands!” Isaiah 55:12

Counting graces in community: (1886-1903)

the way nature points me to God

that I don’t walk into seasons of change all alone

that Christ’s beauty can be seen through me

fall leaves

cool air

walks in the park

trip to legoland discovery center

sleeping in

fun at the company picnic

how much at home we are in ATL

being able to keep up with homeschool while away

pumpkin pecan cheesecake

going to a Hawk’s preseason game where my youngest jumped up and down, cheering the whole time:)

bison burger at Ted’s

going through a corn maze with the kids

hiking on my favorite mountain

spending the day with old college friends

Linking up with these friends:

A Holy Experience, Graceful, On Your Heart Tuesday, The Better Mom, Finding Heaven Today, Into the Beautiful, Playdates, Thankful Thursday, Women Living Well, Getting Down with Jesus, Scribing the Journey, Fellowship Friday, Denise in Bloom

Rest for the Weary

20. October 2012 · 10 comments · Categories: Ploughing Hearts

Some days, I am soul weary. The little irritations of life wear me down. I get discouraged by plans that fail. Fatigued from trying to carry my own burdens, I stumble in despair.

In the craziness of life and trying to juggle everything on my agenda, I’ve forgotten who holds the future. I’ve forgotten who has the strength to carry all of my burdens and more. And I’ve forgotten who knows my future.

For it was Christ who carried my greatest burden at the cross, surely He can carry all these little burdens on my heart today. He knows the plans He has for me and the work He is preparing me for.

As I wait and rest in His strength, I place I hope in this promise: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Linking with these friends:

Linking up with these friends:

Book Study: Week 6

16. October 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: Book Study

Ouch, this week’s reading was quite uncomfortable! Chapters 11 and 12 focus on the sins of pride and selfishness. These sins have roots that run deep and require the far reach of God’s grace to dig them out.

Questions for this week:

1. In what ways are these areas of pride a stumbling block for Christians: moral self-righteousness, correct doctrine, achievement, and an independent spirit?

2. How is humility a cure for pride? (Read Proverbs 11:2, Ephesians 4:2, Matthew 23:12)

3. What kind of attitude does Bridges suggest we have about our doctrinal convictions?

4. How is pride in our achievements an affront to God’s sovereignty? (1 Corinthians 4:7, 1 Samuel 2:7, Psalm 75:6-7, and Haggai 1:5-6)

5. What are some examples of ways we can take the credit for our children’s achievements?

6. Have you ever looked down on others, thinking you know better how to do something? Give an example.

7. Pride keeps us from having a teachable spirit and the ability to be discipled. What can you do to grow and develop a teachable spirit?

8. Read Philippians 2:4. How can selfishness be a blind spot?

9. Bridges gives examples of specific types of selfishness. Provide examples of selfishness in our speech with others. Give examples of selfishness in our use of time. Also give examples of ways we can be inconsiderate.

10. Our use of money is another example Bridges gives for selfishness. Read and discuss 1 John 3:17, Micah 6:8, James 1:27.

11. Christ is our example of unselfish giving. Read Philippians 2:1-11, 2 Corinthians 8:9

12. What is the cost for us in unselfishness?

When the Present Faces the Past

14. October 2012 · 31 comments · Categories: Gratitude Community

Adjusting the side and rear view mirrors, I started up my white rental car. Driving down the highway, I tried to get my bearings. It’s been years since I’ve driven the suburbs of our nation’s capital. I passed the exit for my grandparent’s house and tears stung my eyes. It hit me hard, realizing that they’ve been gone a few years now.

I visited my old church and found it had been completely remodeled. The pastor who married us has retired and moved away. Nothing looks the same. And neither do the people. My sister tells me that the mall I used to frequent as a teen has been bulldozed to the ground to make way for something completely new. I learned from my aunt that the farm where she used to live was sold and houses now stand where my sister and I used to run and explore (remember when I wrote about that farm here?).

Have you ever left someplace you’ve lived and then returned a number of years later? It’s amazing how much things change, isn’t it? Our past is preserved like snapshots in our mind. Whenever we think of a place from our past, we see it just as we remember it. And then when we visit it in the present, the clash between today and yesterday can leave us reeling.

In the past few weeks, I’ve returned to my home town for my sister’s bridal shower and then for her wedding. My mind was overwhelmed by images from the past facing the reality of the present. While people are preserved in my mind from fifteen years ago, they have in reality aged. Life goes on.

It’s easier to forget the past when I reside so far away. But driving through familiar streets made childhood memories flood my mind. Seeing extended family gathered together to celebrate a wedding reminded me of past gatherings and of those who are now missing.

While in many ways it saddens me that things have changed and that life has gone on since I’ve moved away, it also means that the wounds that linger in my memory from times past are just that-memories. This visit is a great reminder of all that God has done in my life these many years. He has brought me from a place of timidity, insecurity and uncertainty to a place of confidence in Him and His plan for my life. No longer do the sorrows and wounds from childhood rule and define me. Where once I thought I’d be chained to a family legacy of secrets, bitterness, rage and anger, I have instead been freed to create a new legacy and new memories.

It is also a reminder that God is redeeming all things, even the past. For while I look at people from my past and see painful memories, they have not remained there in the past. They have in fact moved on and changed. The same painful circumstances that God has used to change me, He has also used to change others. When I push away those memories and see others for who they are now, God’s redeeming power humbles me.

Visiting the past can be painful. But there is joy there too. For it reveals the way God has always been there. Reading the previous chapters of our life from where we are currently in redemption’s story, we can see how far God has brought us. The refining He has done, the wounds He has healed, and the ways we have grown in our love for Him are all evident. Our past can become memorial stones, a testimony of God’s redemptive love poured out in our lives.

And as I witnessed my sister’s wedding, the past and present merged into a beautiful image of the way God rescues and redeems. Because one day we will walk down the aisle, perfect in beauty and radiant in holiness, and join our Bridegroom for an eternity of never-ending bliss and happiness with the One our hearts were made for.

Joining the gratitude community and thanking my Savior for (#1874-1885):

The power of redemption, even over the past

The way God continues to be at work

That He is making all things new

Going to DC for my sister’s wedding

Having time to take the kids to the city to see the Spy Museum, new MLK monument, Smithsonian

Seeing my boys excited about being in the wedding

Watching my little sister get married

Seeing family members I hadn’t seen for a while

The beautiful fall weather

Getting to know my sister’s new family

Flying from DC to Atlanta to continue our time away

Linking up with these friends:

Teach Me Jesus Thursdays: On Allegories and Parables {and a giveaway}

11. October 2012 · 11 comments · Categories: Parenting, Teach Me Jesus

God communicates to us in words and concepts that we understand. Jesus taught the disciples through parables and word pictures. The Bible uses the example of marriage to explain our relationship with God. The book of Proverbs uses analogies and word pictures to explain the way of wisdom. Whenever possible, the inspired writer’s of Scripture used examples from everyday life to help explain spiritual concepts.

For children, allegories and parables are excellent tools to use in explaining Biblical concepts. The Chronicles of Narnia are the most well known example of this. We can’t help but think of Jesus when Aslan takes Edmund’s place, accepting the punishment he deserved. Other examples include books by Francis Chan, Max Lucado, R.C. Sproul, to name a few.

The following is a few of our favorites. Today is a giveaway day! One winner will get to choose one book from the following list. All you have to do is leave a comment and you will be automatically entered. Random.org will randomly select a winner next week, October 17 at 8:00pm EST.

Pilgrim’s Progress

The Lightlings

The Prince’s Poison Cup

Sammy and His Shepherd

Keeping Holiday
Please share! I’d love to hear about some of your favorites! What parables or allegories do you like to read to your children to teach them about Jesus?