I step out onto our tiny wooden porch, plop down in the plastic Adirondack chair and breathe out a long sigh. We are on vacation, so why am I so tired, irritable, and frustrated?
The day had been long and my patience short. Stingy with grace, I didn’t give out what has been given to me. At dinner, my son prayed, “And God, please help mommy to be patient with us.”
Sipping my coffee, I look out over the railing. There is nothing in my view but the forest. I hear birds softly chirping, calling to one another. Opening my prayer journal, I begin to talk to God. My heart is raw and the words spill forth, overflowing onto the page.
I pause from time to time to soak in the calm serenity of the woods. The wind gently rustles the leaves and the branches sway in a slow dance. I see a pocket of light, a spotlight of remaining sun shining through the woods, highlighting a lone tree.
Wasn’t it a simple tree who carried the Light of the World? Didn’t He carry this guilt that lays heavy in my heart, heavy from a day of arguments, impatience, and frustration?
The Spirit, He moves gently, just as the breeze and causes my own heart to sway in a rhythm of thanksgiving. He reminds me of His fresh mercy and pours His abundant grace over me. The chirping birds remind me that He cares for me and always meets my every need. His promises from Scripture come coursing through my soul, reassuring and reminding me of His unconditional love. I breathe in deep the fragrance of this life and exhale praise.
He’s always there waiting. Why do I take so long to come to Him? Why do I try to walk into battle on my own? Why do I let my day go by, full of distractions, conflicts, and challenges and not stop and seek Him?
Because once I do, I see Him everywhere.
After tucking in my son for bed, I tell him I am sorry for being impatient with him. “Do you forgive me?” I ask. “I always do, mommy. You know that.”
And so does He.
Linking up with:
Word Filled Wednesday and Intentional.Me
Oh, love how your son reflect’s God’s heart. And I feel your pain, your guilt, your UGGH- don’t know how days spiral into crabby and impatient, but I’ve been there too many times to count. Thanks for reminding me I need to run to HIM and see through HIS eyes when my vision is skewed by my own frustration. Your writing’s beautiful!
So true - life makes it so hard to just go to God, and yet that is all He asks of us, and all we are made for. If only the world wasn’t so broken - I guess that is why this isn’t really our home. The forgiveness of a child and the ability to go to God to freely, what a gift, what a blessing! Thanks for sharing
Stopping from Daily Cup of Inspiration
Marissa @ forfunreadinglist.blogspot.com
I think vacation must bring us to the same place…seeing Him everywhere…and don’t you love how forgiving a child can be…I was afraid my kids has to forgive too much…But God is faithful…as we continue to humble ourselves and let Him in…He will transform our hearts and provide the Grace to our families as He makes us new:) enjoy the wonderful time away…receive His mercies new each day:)
This is a tender moment. So encouraged by what you’ve shared here. What a sweet little guy you have. I’ve been there, too, and am always amazed at how quickly children forgive.
(I love your top photo. I see Ys everywhere, like in that tree, reminders of Yahweh leaving His imprint on our world.)
Sometimes all we can do is breathe then trust that HE will complete His work in and through us.
Oh, this is so beautiful, and so, so true. I struggle with this a lot, too - not seeking Him, not coming to Him. I really should do this more. Thank you so much for sharing this, for your honesty. I truly appreciate it.
I’m glad you asked; I’m glad he did. Makes life practically perfect.
You warmed my heart today, Christina. Beautiful write on something so real and ugly. For I, too, try to go it alone too many times. But grace….ah but grace.
I have been just where you are oh, so many times. But I look back at your blog name and your header and I think, if you hadn’t failed, your son wouldn’t have been able to pray that prayer, and he wouldn’t have had the chance to say those sweet words, mirroring Jesus back to you. You ARE “showing them Jesus”. Even in your failure. Keep doing what your doing - for it is GRACE that pours forth!
Oh I have heard that prayer from my own kiddos. Breaks my heart every time. So very thankful for forgiveness from my lil ones. Ty for sharing! Blessings! simplyhelpinghim.com
Oh - such a gift to be forgiven! This was so beautifully written. Thank you.
(linking via Intentional Me)