“Mom” he says in exasperation, “the bishop can only move diagonally.”
He was five when he asked for a chess set for Christmas. An analytical thinker, it’s the perfect game for him. He learned quickly the rules and strategies of the game and continues to try to teach me.
We sit at our spacious and cherry-stained oak dining table, he on one side and I on the other. As always, he chooses the light-colored pieces, though I’ve failed to learn why. The table we’re seated at has hosted quite a few chess matches. Purchased with money left for me by my grandfather, it’s also held many dinner guests, friends and family alike. It’s remarkable how a slab of wood, turned table by the Amish, can be the initiator of so many memories and traditions.
I can see determination in his young face as he stares at the board. I watch his fixed gaze and wonder if the rows of squares, alternating in color, will begin to blur into one. His face is almost expressionless, as he begins to form his strategy in his mind. He thinks ahead, anticipating each of my moves. We take our turns, moving pawns, knights, rooks and bishops. Each of us saves the queen for those final moves, all the while protecting the king.
I think about a book I’ve been reading, Just a Minute. It’s been a great reminder that words of encouragement and affirmation spoken in just a minutes time can effect the course of a person’s life. I think about how often he asks me to play chess and I turn him down because of some other responsibility or chore. I think of failed opportunities to affirm his ability to not only learn the game, but teach it to others. I think of missed conversations spoken throughout the game, moments when I could have spoken words of encouragement straight into his heart.
Not today.
It’s my turn. I try to figure out his possible response to each of the different pieces I could move. In chess, you have to watch and predict your opponents moves, all the while planning your own strategy.
As I fix my own gaze on all the possible squares in which I could place a piece, I realize how in my own heart lately, I’ve attempted to play chess with God. I’ve tried to anticipate His next move in my life. I see Him moving one way and I try to think ahead to what’s next. I strategize, “If He’s doing this in my life, then I’ll have to do this or else this will happen.”
I live life in the future, always wondering what’s ahead for me. I try to plan out what I will do and how I will handle what comes my way. In reality, I’m trying to have power over that which is out of my control.
While in chess you can develop a strategy and anticipate your opponent’s next move, God cannot be analyzed or strategized.
In recent days, I’ve done this even more. I’ve looked at where my life is today and assume it’ll be this way for years to come. I get overwhelmed and fearful of the future-future tripping-all at the expense of the present. I even try to change what will happen in the future. Grasping at control that is unattainable has led me down a dead-end road called the Way of Depression.
I treat God like an opponent, someone who is in a battle against me and One against whom I have to win.
Life is completely missed when I spend my days dwelling on what God is or isn’t doing. When I focus on what’s ahead instead of what’s right here and now, I’m missing the opportunities He’s placed in my path today. I need to live in today and appreciate the moments I’m given. The table beckons, a feast awaits me. Each day I need to sit at the table, enjoy the spread before me, and participate in a game or two. For tomorrow, it will all be gone for good, replaced with new opportunities and moments. And I don’t want to miss anything, for I’ve missed too much already.
Not surprisingly, I wasn’t able to anticipate my seven-year-olds strategy. Before I knew it, he said, “Check.” And as is often the case, I lost the game. But it was a happy loss, lived full in the moment with my oldest son.
Linking up with:
What a beautiful post!
Your description of the chess game with your son made me feel I was sitting across the board from him. And I love how you expanded that moment to demonstrate the need to live in the moment in our walk with God.
Blessings!
Thank you! Who knew chess could be so convicting?:)
Oh I loved this.
I loved that you took the time to play with your son, that you said YES to that moment…
And I love what it taught you.
And how true is that?? I am always trying to predict what He might do next…
HE is FOR US!!
Have you heard Kari Jobe’s song “you are for me”? If not, PLEASE find it on youtube and listen to it. I can barely get through it without crying!!
I hadn’t heard it but I just listened to it. Thanks, it was good! He IS for us!
This is just…wonderful. I needed this…today of all days. Thank you for sharing from your heart, Amy!
I love your honesty in this post, showing how at times you have seen God as an opponent to outsmart. And I love how He gives us such mercy and instead of casting down harsh judgement, He in fact, gives us more to savor. A feast of gifts every day. Welcome to SDG!
A feast of gifts every day-yes. Just a prelude to the great feast to come. Thanks for visiting!
Great post! How often to I try to predict God’s next move rather than live in the moment He has given. Oh to let go of my reigns of control that only lead to frustration because they don’t work. Praying for the peace in resting in and trusting Him.
Thanks for sharing… I love the analogy and am ready for a game of chess!
It was a great conviction that still has me thinking. Thanks!
Living in the moment, taking advantage of what right before me, that is how I want to live too. Great analogy, your using the game of the chess to speak truth here!
Thank you! And thanks so much for visiting!
What a great example. Why do I contemplate God’s every move… ? Interesting and something to pray about for sure.
Thanks! So glad you visited today:)
and Mate!! Great connection, and I can’t wait for my daughters to learn chess.
Watch out! How competetive are you?
Haha…I can get pretty competitive with my brothers…but am okay losing to my girls….if they earn it.
What a wonderful post! I too used to live thinking only of God’s next move in my life and because I was incredibly impatient and unfaithful, I initiated the move myself. All those times I should’ve been still and simply waited…all that time gone. Yet I must not fall into the trap of past regrets either, but move on and read fabulous reminders - like yours! - to stay in the moment! And to place all my trust and uncertainty at His feet. Loved every word, Christina! I’ve considered a chess set for awhile - this may have sealed my decision to finally buy one
Yes, that is me. Incredibly impatient and unfaithful. Chess is wonderful for kids and great for grown ups alike:) So glad you stopped by!
Such a good post.
You have a gift for storytelling. I so enjoy your words. … Your story — the table part especially — made me think of Deb Colorassi. She’s been inviting people to share their table stories.
Here’s her blog … in case you’re interested in sharing your table story with her.
https://forsakenforlent.blogspot.com/
Wow, thanks! And I’ll check out the link. Blessings to you!
oh, Thank you so much for linking this wonderful story. ( and to Jennifer for the nudge:) ).
I love all of this… and can especially relate to not being in the moment enough when my kids were younger. Sometimes I wish I could do so much of it over you know? sigh…..
New every morning.
Grace.
Thanks! I love table stories so I was happy to find a place that was all about it:) So glad you stopped by my little place.
Blessings to you!