While we were on vacation, we had an opportunity to speak with a professor of education who teaches on gifted education.  Yes, I did pick her brain! One of the things we discussed was the spiritual challenges gifted learners confront because of their perfectionism.  She shared examples of other families with gifted children and how they handle sin in their lives.

Perfectionism is a common trait in the gifted.  For perfectionists like my oldest son, sin is a big problem.  Failing at anything is a big problem.  When he first started to play board games, it was the end of the world for him when he didn’t win.  He is hesitant to try anything new unless he feels confident he will excel at it.  We encourage him to fail at something everyday.  We had a debate with him yesterday about the fact that failure can be a good thing; it challenges you to try harder the next time and you learn from your mistakes.  He was adamant that what we said was not true. 

In our catechism devotional (Training Hearts Teaching Minds: Family Devotions Based on the Shorter Catechism), we’ve been discussing the Fall, Original Sin, and the effects of sin in our lives.  He acknowledges that he is sinful, that everyone sins, and that one day everything will be restored when Christ returns.  However, he does not handle it well when he is corrected.  He gets upset and berates himself, “I am the worst person!”

This will be an ongoing challenge for him and for us as parents as we remind him of his worth in God’s eyes and help him deal with the fact that he is not perfect, cannot be, and sin brings consequences.  Battling perfectionism will be a lifelong internal war for him I’m afraid.  But isn’t sin a battle we all face each and every day?

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 7:15-25