Spiritual Growth |

When You Need a Little Peace

03. July 2013 · 2 comments · Categories: God's still working on me, One Word, Spiritual Growth

Rest. Relaxation. Stillness. Peace. These are the pursuits of summer vacation.

Our lives are lived at full speed. Each minute of the day is spent; we barely finish one thing before we rush on to the next. Going on a vacation forces us to slow down, to push pause on life, and to think.

Time away from work and routine is good but it only provides temporary rest and peace. Laying at the pool, walking along the beach, or camping under the stars may help us slow down but none provides the cure to a busy and cluttered heart. Even standing at the heights of a mountain and seeing God’s amazing work in creation won’t give us enduring peace. We’ll soon return to normal life and find ourselves busy and distracted by the cares of this world.

Our Lord knew busyness. Crowds of people followed him from place to place. Someone always needed healing. There was always a heart that needed hope, a life that needed resurrection. He had a purpose and he was intent on fulfilling it. Yet, he knew when it was time to slow down. Jesus took time, even in the midst of a demanding schedule to seek the rest he needed (Luke 5:16). He often went alone to the olive groves to refresh and find restoration. Yet it wasn’t simply about being alone or taking a break from working, he took these breaks to go to the source of peace and rest: his Father.

Jesus spent his life here on earth pointing us to the Source of all peace. He knew that our peace and rest doesn’t come from merely taking a break, it comes from communing with our Creator. It comes from knowing him, finding our meaning in him, and being completely satisfied in him. Peace and rest comes from knowing that all our burdens and cares have been taken from us at the cross. It comes from knowing that our greatest fear and burden, the sin that separates us from God, was removed forever when Jesus died as our substitute. And it comes from knowing that one day, he will return again and make all things new.

“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” Psalm 27:4

Peace and rest isn’t something to be sought on the weekends or during vacations. It’s available to us every moment of every day. ”I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27 NLT). Jesus came so that we would have peace and rest forever. He came to take all our burdens and cares. “Come to me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest to your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

As we enjoy our vacations this summer, may it remind us of the rest and peace purchased for us at the cross. Instead of living from weekend to weekend or vacation to vacation, let us rest in the presence of Christ each and every day. Because in Christ alone is our rest and with him is where we find the peace our heart longs for most.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

When Life is Disappointing

17. June 2013 · 13 comments · Categories: God's still working on me, One Word, Spiritual Growth

Talking about life over dinner one day, my friend looked at me and said, “My life is such a disappointment.” We talked of broken dreams, failures, unexpected trials, and wondered-where is God’s blessing in all of it?

Another friend and I had a similar talk. Where does brokenness fit in the Christian life? How about when sins, failures, and weaknesses continue to haunt us-even after following Christ for years? How about when we pray for healing and it doesn’t come? What about when the despair never comes to an end? And what about when we cry out to God but he doesn’t answer?

These are all questions that we rarely voice aloud. These are feelings we wouldn’t share with others. After all, people would raise eyebrows and question our faith. Because as we’ve been taught in the American church, God blesses us when we do the right thing. When we pray in faith, he gives us all things. So if life is disappointing, we must be doing something wrong. Right?

But, I wonder, what if-what if life is supposed to be disappointing? And what if that disappointment is the doorway to something greater?

Too often, we live our lives either in the doorway or on this side of the door. We seek our satisfaction in temporary and fleeting things. We live as though seeking happiness in this life is why we are here. We follow distractions that lead us not toward but away from what truly satisfies.

And on those occasions where we actually admit and face our disappointments and broken dreams, we fight against them. We resist opening the door, resist stepping into our disappointments to see what lies on the other side. Like Lots wife, we look back to what we once had, wishing we could return to what was familiar and tangible.

If we gave up our hopes, goals, and dreams-as good as they might be-and pursued the greater dream, what might our lives look like? If we accepted the trials, broken dreams, and suffering as the pathway to our greatest joy, what would change about how we look at life and how we live?

I get emails all the time from the hurt and wounded, from those whose hopes have failed, who’ve prayed and God has not answered. Each message I read breaks my heart and moves me to sorrow for them. I want desperately to step into their situation, snap my fingers, and make all the pain go away.

But what I’m learning in my own life is that if I could make my own pain go away, it would be a great tragedy. For it’s my pain, my dashed hopes and failed dreams that brings me to the One who fills all the aching parts of my soul. It’s my brokenness which draws me to Christ, the One who was broken for me.

The question is, what’s on the other side of the door? What do we find when we cross the threshold from what we think we desire to what fulfills every desire? The answer is God Himself.

Larry Crabb writes in Shattered Dreams, “The suffering caused by shattered dreams must not be thought of as something to relieve if we can or endure if we must. It’s an opportunity to be embraced, a chance to discover our desire for the highest blessing God wants to give us, an encounter with Himself.” But do we really believe that? Do we really believe that God is our greatest desire, that we were created to be in fellowship with him, to love him, to be known by him?

For me, my current happiness often comes from a peaceful day and well behaved children. When my plans work out, when my goals are achieved, when I don’t have to worry about bills, when everyone is healthy, then I feel safe to breathe in happiness. But if God is my greatest desire and source of joy then no matter what happens around me my joy cannot be moved.

Because I don’t live as though God is my greatest desire he has to take away my lesser dreams so that I can dream higher. He has to remove my false idols and all the things I like to have under my control so that I will walk through that doorway. And sometimes, I have to crawl through that doorway on my knees in brokenness and complete surrender.

Jesus knew the way to joy was through the doorway of suffering. “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2). It was Christ’s suffering at the cross that opened the door to our redemption and freedom from sin. It was his suffering which tore the curtain that separated us from God. Because of his death, we can now enter God’s presence with complete confidence.

As Christ’s follower, if I want to truly know and experience him, I too have to enter that same doorway. I have to enter into my own disappointments, broken dreams, and failed expectations. Not because broken dreams and suffering are good, but because good awaits me on the other side. Because Jesus conquered sin and death, I can experience the joy of knowing God in this life and look forward to an eternity with him in heaven.

Life is supposed to be disappointing because it pulls us away from lesser dreams and draws us to the joy Christ purchased for us at the cross. When disappointments come in this life they are opportunities and open doors for us to seek and find what our hearts most long for-God Himself.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Our Summer Rest

05. June 2013 · 4 comments · Categories: God's still working on me, Spiritual Growth

School is done and summer is here. We don’t have to get up early. Days are spent at the beach or beside the pool. Our skin soaks in the sun and we enjoy less hectic days.

As homeschoolers, I’ve found that if we stop school entirely for the summer, my kids forget so much of what they learned the previous year. We end up spending the first month of school in the fall reviving their memory from its slumber. Rather than completely abandon school during the summer, we do a little each day. This keeps their skills fresh and ready to jump into school once it starts again full force.

I find this to be true in my spiritual life. When I go on vacation, my normal routine gets set aside. But so does my Bible reading and prayer time. And then my spiritual memory fades. My grip to the vine of Christ loosens its hold. Like muscles gone without use, my spiritual stride struggles and I slow down.

In A Godward Life: Savoring the Supremacy of God in All of Life, John Piper says this about summer:

“Jesus Christ is refreshing, but flight from him into Christless leisure makes the soul parched. At first it may feel like freedom and fun to skimp on prayer and neglect the Word, but then we pay; shallowness, powerlessness, vulnerability to sin, preoccupation with trifles, superficial relationships, and a frightening loss of interest in worship and the things of the Spirit. Don’t let summer make your soul shrivel.”

This summer, my family is traveling for a month. I don’t want to get to the end of that month and find that I’ve left all thoughts of God at home. I don’t want to enter vacation without Him. In fact, I want my vacation to be about Him, with Him, and through Him.

Scripture doesn’t speak about taking vacations. But it does refer to rest and when it does, it relates rest to our spiritual rest found in Christ. Christ came to fulfill and bring about our Sabbath rest, to free us from striving to do life on our own. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He completely fulfilled the law so that we could rest in God’s grace. One day He will return again to bring complete and final rest for our souls. Summertime and vacations ought to be a time to remember the rest Christ accomplished for us and the eternal rest to come. “There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest” (Hebrews 4:9-11).

So whether I sit by the pool, lie on the beach, gaze at the mountains, or walk along the river, I want to view summer vacation in light of what Christ has done and what is yet to come. As I stay up later with the long summer sun, I want to soak in the rays of joy that one day God will be the only light I’ll need. And as I feast in sweet fellowship with my family in Christ, I want to get a foretaste of the Great Banquet to come.

“The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon
shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be
your glory. Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the LORD will be
your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end.” Isaiah 60:19-20

The Safest Place

20. May 2013 · 1 comment · Categories: Depression, From the Inside Out, Spiritual Growth

“I have an ice-breaker for you. Tell us about your safe place you had as a child.”

We were in our small group, gathered at a friends house and seated around the living room. I sunk back into the deep leather sectional and realized that I couldn’t remember that far back. My first thought was that I don’t have many positive memories from my past. As each person described their safe places, I perused the memory files in my brain. I tried to tiptoe through my memories, hoping I wouldn’t disturb and awaken anything I’d rather not recall. I listened as the others described their neighborhood, their friends houses, and their playgrounds as their safe places. Finally, it was my turn, and instantly I remembered the place I felt safest as a child.

Source

The room was buried deep in the building. Down the stairs, in the basement, it was the last room at the end of the hall. The smell of old magazines and books, musty and perhaps even moldy, permeated the air. It was the room where all the old resources were kept-magazines dating back to the beginning of last century and piles of books that no one cared about.

This was a safe place.

Stacks and stacks of books and plenty of places hide, my local public library was my haven growing up. My mother worked there so I spent countless hours browsing and reading. When I was old enough to volunteer, I helped out the children’s librarian. Conveniently, she was also a children’s book author with whom I enjoyed talking about all her books. When I was even older and could get a job, this library was my first place of employment.

I loved the quiet, and being surrounded by so much that stimulated the mind and the imagination. Everything else in my life was loud, chaotic, and sometimes frightening. This place I knew was quiet and safe.

I came to know exactly where every book was located. Most of them I checked out and read at home, sometimes staying up late into the night. Mysteries, fiction, non-fiction, biographies, literature, poetry-all food for my starving mind and heart. Emily was right when she described a book as a frigate that takes to lands far away. In my reading, I visited places I’ll never see, shared emotions with imaginary people who understood me, and solved all the problems in the world in mere hours of reading.

I loved checking in the books in the office and putting them back on the shelves. I especially loved having to go all the way into that dimly lit room in the basement where people seldom ventured. Putting away or retrieving old resources was an infrequent job but one I treasured. And the quiet, oh the quiet in that place…

Library Stacks

Source

God found me even behind the stacks of shelves. He found me hiding out from the world and wishing I could bring all my things, and create a nest in the back corner, by the window and next to the 200′s. I always looked at each book before shelving it because every one was a potential world to visit. In the 200′s, next to all the different versions of the Bible, I found a number of books that brought the encouragement and hope my adolescent soul needed. It was there that I found and read a book by Billy Graham, then one by Joni Earekson Tada, followed by nearly every book in the Christianity section of the library.

During those years, I gathered quotes and scriptures from those books and began filling a journal. Late, in the quiet of the night, I opened that journal and read and re-read the scrawled words of hope. It was those words, hand-copied from borrowed books, that got me through the deep, dark days of adolescence that I learned much later was clinical depression.

One of my favorite names for God is “Strong Tower,” from Psalm 61 “from the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe” (vs. 2-3). The library was my refuge and safe place as a child. It was a place to hide from the chaos of my life. But my greatest foe is sin and the truths of the gospel are my refuge and strength. All those books I read in the safety of the library told me that Jesus came to rescue me from sin and to restore my relationship with my Father in heaven. On the cross, Jesus took on all of my sin and gave me his righteousness in return. Because of Christ, there is no more fear, no more shame, and no need to hide.

As a child, God provided me a safe place, a refuge from the storms of my life and then he met me there. And it was there that I learned that Christ has brought me to the safest place on earth-the arms of my Father.

Where have you found safety?

Updated and revised from the archives

The Healer of Our Souls: The Character of God

15. May 2013 · 3 comments · Categories: Anxiety, Depression, fear, From the Inside Out, God's still working on me, grief, Spiritual Growth · Tags: The Healer of Our Souls

This is another post in the series titled, The Healer of Our Souls. The posts in this series focus on how the truth of God’s Word brings healing to all wounded parts of our soul.To read more in this series, click here.

My heart is often fickle. I sing praise to God about His wonders and grace when life is going well. I testify to everyone about what He has done and how He has answered my prayers. But then once life makes a turn and I face an obstacle or a trial, I complain, question God, and doubt the very grace I once praised.

What is wrong with me?

When the circumstances in my life change from rosy to fair or even worse, does that mean God has changed? Is He only good if He is giving me good things and whatever I ask for? And what about when the trials linger, does that mean His power has diminished or that He’s lost His love for me?

While my head would say that the answer to all of these questions is a resounding “No” the truth is, my heart often responds with a “Yes.”

Oh, that God would give me grace to make what my head knows to be true to be what my heart lives out as truth!

The truth is, I project my own human limitations and expectations on God. This is why my heart questions His love, power, or grace when life gets hard. But God is not the one who changes, I do. I am the fickle Queen of Broken Promises, with swinging emotions and a distracted heart.

While I may be ever changing, there is one thing that is constant, dependable and sure. There is one thing I can count on when I journey through deep valleys and grope in the darkness of uncertainty. Like keeping my eyes on the level horizon when a storm rages at sea, there is one constant I can look to when the storms of life rage in my soul.

The character of God.

God never changes. He is always faithful and keeps every promise. He never tires, feels helpless, or loses his power. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” And he is always, always good.

Jesus prayed for the disciples, “Sanctify them by the truth, your word is truth” (John 17:17). It is the truth of God’s word which changes us, sanctifies us, transforms us-from the inside out. When it comes to the character of God, the more I study His word to learn about his attributes, the more in awe I will be. The more I dwell on the unshakable truths about God, the more I am utterly moved that he would ever love me. And my own love and trust for him grows as I splash in the joy of being known and loved by our amazing God.

Below are just a few of the attributes or character traits of God found in Scripture. Will you join me in studying and learning more about who God is? As you study these attributes of God, consider using them in your prayers. Thank God for each of his characteristics. Use them in prayers of praise. Confess how you may have failed to trust him for these attributes. Ask him to apply them to your heart so that you might have deeper faith and love for him.

Eternal: Genesis 21:33, Revelation 1:8

Infinite: Psalm 33:11, 90:1-2, 145:13, Hebrews 1:8-12)

Good: Psalm 25:8, 34:8, Titus 3:4

Incomprehensible: Job 5:9, Isaiah 40:28, 55:8, Romans 11:33

Omnipotent: Genesis 18:14, Jeremiah 27:5, Matthew 19:26

Truth: Numbers 23:19, Isaiah 45:19, John 3:33

Faithful: Psalm 33:4, 1 Corinthians 1:9, 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Omniscient: 1 Kings 8:39, Proverbs 3:19-20, 1 Corinthians 2:10

Majestic: Exodus 15:7, Job 37:22, Jude 25

Supreme: Colossians 1:15, Exodus 15:1, Revelation 19:11-16

Gracious: Nehemiah 9:1, Exodus 34:6-7, Isaiah 26:10

Holy: Isaiah 6:3, Psalm 77:13, 1 Peter 1:15-16

Faithful: Genesis 28:15, Titus 1:2, Hebrews 10:23

Creator: Genesis 1:3, Jeremiah 27:5, 2 Corinthians 5:5

Accessible: Deuteronomy 4:7, Matthew 6:6, Ephesians 3:12

Immutable: 1 Samuel 15:29, Psalm 33:11, James 1:17

Just: Deuteronomy 32:4, Job 37:23, Hebrews 12:29, 1 John 1:9

Provider: Psalm 23:1, Matthew 6:33, 1 Corinthians 2:9

Wisdom: Isaiah 28:29, 1 Corinthians 1:30, Colossians 2:2-3

Savior: Psalm 27:1, 68:19, John 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 1:9

Sovereign: Isaiah 46:10, Daniel 4:35, Ephesians 1:11

Love: Psalm 33:5,18, Romans 8:38-39, Ephesians 3:17-19

Kind: 2 Samuel 22:51, Isaiah 54:8, Romans 11:22

Merciful: 2 Samuel 24:14, Jeremiah 29:11, 2 Corinthians 12:9

Perfect: Deuteronomy 32:4, 2 Samuel 22:31, Matthew 5:48

One and Only: Deuteronomy 6:4, 1 Corinthians 8:6, 1 Timothy 2:5

Have you heard this song by Kutless?

The Resurrection of Hope

02. April 2013 · 6 comments · Categories: God's still working on me, Spiritual Growth

We recently traveled to Tennessee. Our suitcases were packed with the expectation that spring had arrived. Yet instead of sunshine, we were showered with snow. Winter has lingered long; the skies are dreary and the sun seems like a distant memory. Yet despite the frigid temperatures, I spotted optimistic flowers making their appearance, certain that spring will eventually come.

Because no matter how long an underground creature predicts winter will last, spring always comes, bringing a resurrection of light and new life after a frigid season of long dismal days.

My heart also follows seasonal patterns. I go through prolonged winters of grief, brokenness, sorrow, affliction and trials. I walk through dark valleys of depression that seem to never end. And just when it seems that the shadows have permanently enveloped me, the sun begins to radiate its light into my dark world. Like the buds on a tree opening toward the sun’s light, my heart feels the warmth of renewed life and opens in hope and expectation.

Following brokenness, sacrifice and death, resurrection of new life blooms, unfolding its wings to the light of faith.

Abraham knew something of resurrected hope. In Genesis 22, Abraham took his only son Isaac, on a long hike up Mt. Moriah. Carrying wood, and his father the fire, Isaac wondered aloud, “Where is the lamb for the sacrifice?” Little did he know that he was intended to be that lamb.

Abraham, however, did know what awaited Isaac at the top of the hill. Had he shared it with his wife before they left? Did she know what God called him to do? Perhaps he thought about the grief she would endure. I wonder about his thoughts as they made that three-day trip. Did he think back to all the joyous times he had with his son? Did they chat about fond family memories? When they made camp at night, did the brightly shining stars overhead seem to mock him?

Unlike Jonah, who centuries later ran from God’s command, Abraham obeyed God’s instructions and made plans to sacrifice his only son. He believed in God’s promise that he would have as many children as the stars that twinkled in the night sky. He walked forward through the cold darkness of sacrifice, believing that resurrection and new life would follow. He believed what Paul later told the Romans, “God works all things together for good.” (Rom. 8:28)

As Abraham stood there over his son, knife trembling in his hands, he looked in Isaac’s eyes for one last time. And just as he brought the knife down toward Isaac’s chest, the angel of the Lord stopped him. “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” (Genesis 22:12) God then provided a substitute, a ram caught in the thicket. Abraham had shown that his love for God was greater than even his most favored possession, his own son.

Hope was resurrected after the dark journey of sacrifice.

The trek up Mt. Moriah foreshadowed Jesus’ own walk up Calvary’s hill. Jesus also knew what lay ahead of Him. He knew that this time it was He who was the substitute sacrifice. He obeyed, endured, and walked through the darkest night-for you and for me. He knew that sorrow, brokenness, and death pave the way for new life. Spring always follows winter; joy comes in the morning.

My heart’s most ominous and darkest winters have led to a resurrection of renewed trust and hope in God. Being broken before Him, laying my heart bare on the altar, and enduring trials for His sake- these are all sacrifices that give birth to greater joy and faith. Clinging to Him and hoping in His promises, despite the ever darkening skies that loom overhead, brings me closer in communion with Him. And believing that spring and new life will come, gives me the certainty I need to endure whatever trial and sacrifice that lie ahead.

Abraham’s faith led to a resurrection of Isaac’s most certain death; Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross led to new life for those who believe. In fact, it is because Jesus rose from the grave that we have the hope of new life forever. One day, all our seasons of brokenness and sacrifice will culminate in a final and complete resurrection. It is then that all our hopes will become sight and our tears forever wiped away.

Until that day, we can endure long winters, knowing that spring will come. And when spring finally arrives this year, each flower that blooms will be a beautiful reminder of the hope and new life that follows not only the dark seasons of our lives, but also of our ultimate hope in eternity.

Do you see evidences of spring and resurrected hope in your heart?

Updated from the Archives

The One Story That Moves Me Most of All

25. March 2013 · 6 comments · Categories: Gratitude Community, Spiritual Growth · Tags: Easter

This is an updated post from the archives. I though it was appropriate as we prepare for Holy Week.

I once held the hands of a rape victim while we sat in a hospital waiting room. We spoke different languages, but I could read her story in her two black overflowing pools. They spoke volumes, without a word being spoken.

I’ve sat with parents in court while they watched their child brought forward to speak to the judge. They saw their child’s hands chained. Their striped clothing was a glaring reminder of where their child had just been. We talked of their disappointment, confusion and sadness.

I’ve listened to women recount stories of their spouse’s rage. They trembled in fear, visibly shaken as they talked. Their eyes looked off into the distance, seeing memories they wish they could forget. We took photos of their wounds and bruises and kept them safe.

I’ve had a child talk to me about finding his mother dead, by her very own hand. Little by little, we talked about the lasting horror, bitterness, and pain.

Over the years, I’ve heard countless stories of pain, abuse, loss, and fear. Many caused my eyes to burn with unshed tears. Some mirrored my own pains. And each one moved me to compassion.

But the story that moves me most is the one story that all the others point to. It’s a story of pain that was written to heal our pain. It’s a story of loss that was written so that we might gain.

It’s the story of Easter.

This next week, we celebrate how God Himself stepped into the story of redemption, becoming man and living in this world of sin and sorrow. He joined us in our pain, experiencing it for Himself: sorrow, temptation, despair, humiliation, rejection, torture and death. He penned a story of healing in blood-His own blood. As Tim Keller has written, “God takes our misery and suffering so seriously that he was willing to take it on himself.”

God knows each of our stories. He knows each and every ache and sorrow. He hears the deepest cries of our heart. The story of Easter is God’s response to the stories of pain that we all share.

The wonder of it all pierces my heart; God becoming man and dying for me?

My mind cannot comprehend it-a holy, perfect God lowering Himself into the mess of my life. All the tears I’ve cried, He’s caught each and every one. He’s taken my story of brokenness and written in His own prose of grace. He became broken so that I would be made whole. He died so that I might live.

The story of Easter begins with death but ends at resurrection. And it’s because of Jesus’ resurrection on that first Easter morning that we have been freed from the chains of eternal death. And one day, we will enter the next chapter of that endless story where words like pain, sorrow and brokenness don’t exist and instead there is only happiness and joy.

“But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” The Last Battle, C.S. Lewis

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. Isaiah 53:5

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Healer of Our Souls: Our Sovereign God

20. March 2013 · 10 comments · Categories: Anxiety, fear, From the Inside Out, God's still working on me, Spiritual Growth · Tags: The Healer of Our Souls

This is another post in the series The Healer of Our Souls. This series is intended to show how God’s word is the source of healing for all wounds in our soul. To read the other posts in this series, click here.

I sit in the doctor’s office, feeling a sense of deja vu. It was four years ago that my oldest son had sinus surgery. Now I’m here again with my youngest, hearing the news all over again.

As the surgeon rattles off a list of four procedures my youngest son needs, my stomach tightens. Tears burn my eyes. I feel a panic rise up. Not again. Not my baby.

But because I’ve been down this road before, I know where it leads: fear, anxiety, worry, despair. Not this time.

No, this time, I cling to this truth: God is sovereign.

When life’s circumstances threaten to undo me, I have to rest in the sovereignty of God. This is where the rubber meets the road-do I really believe God is in control of all things? If I do, then He is most certainly in control of my son’s health. This did not hit him by surprise. He is not panicked. He’s not wondering what’s wrong and scratching His head about what to do.

In fact, God has allowed this situation for a reason and it’s in His perfect plan that I place my trust. I know that He loves me and my son. Because He promises that all things work together for our ultimate good, I know that good is what will come of it. He knows how much I love my son. He even knows what it’s like to see His own Son suffer.

He is in this and He’s got this.

God’s word is the source of healing for the wounds in my soul. It reminds me that the same God who formed the sun, moon, and stars cares about me. It reminds me that the same God who uses the earth as a footstool loved me before the earth existed. It’s this God who promises to never leave me or forsake me.

And it’s there, in His word, that I find the comfort I need today:

“Who has gone up to heaven and come down? Whose hands have gathered up the wind? Who has wrapped up the waters in a cloak? Who has established all the ends of the earth? What is his name, and what is the name of his son? Surely you know!” Proverbs 30:4

“Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge, or showed him the path of understanding?” Isaiah 40:14

“He who forms the mountains, who creates the wind, and who reveals his thoughts to mankind, who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth- the LORD God Almighty is his name.” Amos 4:13

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2

“The LORD does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths.” Psalm 135:6

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6

“He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 1:8

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Are you resting in His sovereign love today?

Sowing Seeds Through Our Stories

03. March 2013 · 7 comments · Categories: Depression, From the Inside Out, Gratitude Community, grief, Spiritual Growth

“Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.” Psalm 126:5-6

Only God knows the number of tears I have cried in my life. My teen years were filled with more tears than smiles. I know I cried a river each time my one of my children were wheeled away into surgery. I’ve cried out in desperation to God over my failures as a mom. And I’ve wept over losses, failed dreams, and unexpected trials.

Source

As one who struggles with depression, tears are my constant companion. I’ve struggled with the weight of them and have begged God to take them away. The book of Psalms has always been a balm to my wounded heart, reflecting my pain and sorrow in its songs of lament. It was in Psalm 126 where God taught me that while the pain that accompanies my sorrow is hard, it is not without purpose.

Psalm 126 refers to a time in Israel’s history when they returned from exile. The pain and sorrow of their captivity finally came to an end. Our own sorrow will not last forever either; there will be an end. Elsewhere in the Psalms, we learn that “weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Spurgeon said of Psalm 126, “Hence, present distress must not be viewed as if it would last forever; it is not the end, by any means, but only a means to the end. Sorrow is our sowing, rejoicing shall be our reaping. If there were no sowing in tears there would be no reaping in joy.”

We must sow our tears. We can’t let them fall just anywhere, they must fall in a place where they can be planted and nourished. Our tears are not for us alone but are to be used for God’s glory. In planting our tears, we are promised that they will produce a harvest of joy.

Our Savior was familiar with sorrow; Scripture refers to him as “a man of sorrows.” He took on skin and walked among us, experiencing the same pain and suffering we experience. He wasn’t just here as a tourist, to merely observe what it was like to be human in a fallen world. He entered into the grief and pain of humanity and felt the agony of human life. But Jesus knew that “joy comes in the morning” and sowed his tears as he hung on the cross. Scripture tells us in Hebrews 12:2 that he did this “for the joy set before him.” And what was that joy?—our salvation and the restoration of our relationship with God.

How can we sow our tears? First, we must always bring our tears to Jesus. We need to lament in prayer before Him and know that he catches each tear in a bottle. He sees and cares about each and every tear that we cry. Our faith and love for him will strengthen as we trust him to use those captured tears for his glory. In prayer, we’ll plant our tears for the salvation of loved ones, for those hurting, for our own sin and for growth in our faith.

Matthew Henry wrote, “there are tears which are themselves the seed that we must sow, tears of sorrow for sin, our own and others, tears of sympathy with the afflicted church, and the tears of tenderness in prayer and under the word. These are precious seed, such as the husbandman sows when corn is dear and he has but little for his family, and therefore weeps to part with it, yet buries it under ground, in expectation of receiving it again with advantage.”

We also need to consider how we can use our tears to encourage others with the same encouragement Christ has given us. Our tears will reap a harvest for the kingdom when we reach out to others in the name of Jesus. God will not waste our tears. He collects each and every one and uses them in His redemptive plan. We can sow our tears when we tell our stories to one another. When we share our stories of hope in the midst of pain, of healing from wounds, and of resurrected joy, God uses those stories to reap a harvest in someone else’s life.

We may not see the final harvest of our sowing. But we sow because we trust that God will weave our stories of sorrow into the Greater Story of Redemption. What we can’t see now will make sense in eternity. Each of our stories are important to the final tapestry of grace. We have to sow in faith and believe that one day, “He will wipe away every tear from our eyes.”

When life’s circumstances bring sorrow, may we sow our tears in prayer. May we trust that God will not waste our tears but will use each and every one. May we reach out to those God has placed in our life and share our stories with them. And may each tear we sow be used for His glory, bringing in the harvest full of eternal joy.

What is your story? How might God be using your tears in His Greater Story?

Linking up with the Gratitude Community, sharing God’s endless grace in my life: (#2118-2132)

that our tears are never wasted

that God uses each one

that one day we will see the full harvest of joy

that Jesus knows and understands the tears we cry

that Jesus was willing to take on all my sorrows at the cross

that one day, all our tears will be wiped away forever

that my own tears remind me that this world is not my home

my Indelible Grace station on Pandora:)

celebrating the return of Psyche with my besties and all things pineapple

seeing God at work through prayer

the way He works in and through our weakness

going to see Casting Crowns with my husband, just the two of us

my youngest asking me to stay for a sleep over in his room:)

making the Great Wall of China with my son as a homeschool project-so fun!

Because He Is For Us

27. February 2013 · 3 comments · Categories: God's still working on me, Spiritual Growth

courtesy: Lisa Tarplee Photography

Have you ever had a favorite passage you’ve read for years and then one day, you find there is something still to be learned from it? Scripture is always alive, never stagnant, and gives us just what we need when we need it. It pierces the heart when we least expect it and draws us into the wonder of God’s amazing grace.

One of my favorite passages in scripture comes from Romans 8. It begins with “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (v.28) The last eleven verses of Romans 8 is filled with rich hope and wondrous promises. We learn there that because God chose us, He also called us. Because He called us, He then justified us. And because He justified us, He will also glorify us.

Not only that, but because He gave us His own Son, won’t He also give us all things? Paul goes on to say that no one can bring a charge against us because Jesus is always interceding for us. This passage ends with “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (v.38-39)

Romans 8 is a passage I cling to during the storms of life. I pray through it when life pushes me to my knees. I remind myself of it when I am tempted to despair.

But on a daily basis, do I really believe it?

Tucked in the middle of all those hope-filled verses is this one: “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (v. 31) In reading that verse recently, the question it prompted in me was, do I really live my life as though I believe that God is for me?

What about when life is going well? Often in the back of my mind, I think “Things are going too good, I’m due for a trial of some kind.” Or when things are going badly I think, “God must be punishing me for something I did wrong.”

Sadly, I tend to live my daily life as an orphan rather than an adopted child of the Father. I don’t trust Him the way my boys trust their Dad. I expect the worst and always wait for “the other shoe to drop.” I don’t live like a child who knows they are completely loved and accepted. Rather, I doubt and fear like one who has been abandoned. I fend for myself, trying to do life on my own. Like a child on the streets, I trust no one and rely on my own abilities and smarts.

But what if I were to live like God was for me and not against me? What would life be like if I walked in confidence like that of a child who has been adopted forever, like one who knows and believes they have been chosen to be part of a forever family? What if I completely trusted and rested in the strength of my Abba and not my own?

Courtesy: Lisa Tarplee Photography

If I did, nothing would shake me. No matter the storms, trials, or suffering I endured, I would stand firm on solid ground. Instead of bending with the winds or sinking in the sand, I would be stand secure in the knowledge that God is my rock and fortress. I could say with confidence, “Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 125:1-2)

I can’t muster it up on my own, I’ve tried that for too long. No, faith is a gift of grace and grace is what I need each day to walk in the confidence that God loves me. So I pray for more and more grace to believe, to hope, and to trust that I am loved and nothing can separate me from that love.

The truth is, my adoption certificate is signed and sealed by my Savior’s own blood. It is permanent and nothing and no one can take it away.

I am my Abba’s child and He is for me.