“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
I am writing a book.
As I read those words, I shake my head. Me, really?
I’ve struggled with God’s will in my writing these past couple of years. Is this my calling? How do I know this is what He wants for me? Should I keep going or drop it altogether?
It’s my husband who believes in me more than I. He has encouraged me to attend a writer’s or bloggers conference several times and each time I’ve said, “It’s too much money.” The more he encouraged, the more I prayed and then finally said “Yes.”
But still I hesitate.
I don’t have thousands of followers and I’m not famous. Why would a publisher ever look at my writing? And what if I can’t? What if it’s just not in me?
Then I remember the way God works.
He takes the inconsequential and insignificant and transforms them into something amazing for His glory. He took Moses, weak in speech, and made him the leader of the Israelites–freeing them from slavery. He took Gideon, the weakest of his tribe to lead Israel in defeating the Midianites. He took David, the least of his brothers, and made him king over Israel. He took Mary, humble, young, and poor, and made her the mother of His Son. He took Peter, uneducated and awkward, and made him the founder of the church. And He took Jesus, His only Son, who took on human flesh, was born into poverty, one who wasn’t beautiful to look at, a son of a carpenter–to save the world.
He takes our “I can’t” and turns it into “He will.”
What can He do through me?
Each time I begin to doubt this calling on my life to write, I pray, asking for His will to be made clear. I place it in His hands, asking Him to take it and do with it as He wills. I ask Him to shut doors, put up walls, erect barriers–all so that I would know that I need to stop.
But then He sends little gifts in the form of a comment, an email, an invitation to guest post somewhere, or an accidental meeting with a publisher–all to tell me to keep going. In a few weeks I head to SheSpeaks, a writer’s conference where I have a few appointments with publishers. I will bring my one sheet and my proposal, and walk forward, by faith and not by sight.
What will happen? I don’t know. Perhaps something. Perhaps nothing.
But no matter the outcome, He will be glorified and that’s all that really matters. It’s the reason why I write and it would be the reason why I would stop–For Him and His glory alone.
Won’t you please pray?
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