Book Review: Answering Your Kids’ Toughest Questions
Does this ever happen to you? You are driving down the road to the grocery store, the kids strapped in safely in the backseat, and in your mind you are going through your grocery list, hoping not to forget something. Then out of the blue, one of the kids asks, “Mommy, why ______?” Or “Mommy, how does _____?”
Sometimes these questions are easy to answer, or at least a promise to google later will suffice. Like the time my son asked how a car engine works. But other times the questions are hard. Questions about death, disaster, or other painful circumstances of life. Maybe they heard something on the news and they want to know more about it. You’re not quite sure what to say. You aren’t prepared. Because the reality is, questions like these almost always come out of the blue.
My oldest was almost four when he attended his first funeral. Very inquisitive, he has had many questions about death, divorce, and things he hears about going on in our society. As a parent, I’ve had to learn to be prepared and thoughtful about answering such questions.
When I was at the TGC conference last month, I met with my friend Jessica Thompson and asked her if she had any new books coming out that I could blog about. She reached into her bag and pulled out Answering Your Kids’ Toughest Questions: Helping Them Understand Loss, Sin, Tragedies, and Other Hard Topics.
I looked at the cover and said, “This is great! It’s so needed!” I knew from looking at the title alone that it would be an excellent resource for helping explain difficult things to my children. Friends, whether you are parents or not, even if your children are still very young, whether you are grandparents, teachers, youth leaders, we all need to be prepared to answer the hard questions our children bring to us. And I’m excited to tell you about this book.
Answering Your Kids’ Toughest Questions: Helping Them Understand Loss, Sin, Tragedies, and Other Hard Topics is a book we all need. Each chapter focuses on a different issue such as death, Satan, divorce, natural disasters, sexual sin, and even the hard stories from the Bible. At the beginning of each topic, the authors (Jessica and her mom, Elyse Fitzpatrick) discuss the topic in detail, helping the reader understand what Scripture says about the topics. Then they include a section on how to explain that topic to children. They give several options on how to explain the topic based on age range: preschool, 5-10, 11 and up. The answers provided to these questions are developmentally appropriate, gospel laced, and Biblically thorough. It isn’t a script that you read aloud to your child, rather a guideline to give you an idea for what is appropriate to say, given your child’s age, with the caveat that you know your child best and know what they can and cannot understand.
What I appreciate most about this book is that it is not based on fear but on the truth of the gospel and how God works in the heart’s of our children. There’s a good chance I will not explain a topic perfectly. I will probably mess up in my delivery or I may not have an answer to every question my children ask. There are times I will have to say “I don’t know, I’ll have to research that and get back to you.” But God and his grace are greater than all of my inadequacies. He is the one who regenerates and breathes life into dead hearts. He and he alone is the author of salvation for our children. So even when I can’t explain things perfectly to them, I can trust that God is ultimately in control of their hearts.
They write: “Let’s get real. The truth is, no matter how much we pray or study, none of us, not even those of us with real theological degrees, have all the answers. We all struggle with what’s known as the noetic effect of sin, which means our ability to know and understand truth is broken, in the same way our bodies are broken. Our thought processes have been affected by sin, too…I’m thankful that now I truly understand that as good as it is to have answers ands to seek to be prepared to speak to my children about my beliefs, their ultimate salvation isn’t up to me. No, the salvation of souls depends on the Lord alone. Our children’s salvation is not dependent on the strength of our faith or the shrewdness of our answers…Yes, we are to have answers, but no (thankfully!), our answers will not save our children” (pgs. 17-18).
If your children are not asking questions now, trust me, they will be. Answering Your Kids’ Toughest Questions: Helping Them Understand Loss, Sin, Tragedies, and Other Hard Topics is a resource you will want to have.
Not only am I excited to tell you about this book, but I am super excited to give away three copies! Three! So sign up below to enter the giveaway. It ends Sunday at midnight, EST. US residents only. Update: Congrats to Sharon, Emily, and Abbey for winning copies of the book!
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Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the author to read, not necessarily review. I chose to write a review for it here on my blog. The thoughts and opinions are my own.
Amy
July 24, 2014 at 12:26 am (1 year ago)I can’t wait to read this! I have an inquisitive 5 and 6 year old who leave me with questions and I need help. Thabks for the giveaway!
Amy
July 24, 2014 at 7:31 am (1 year ago)Definitely should add this book to my wish list — if I don’t win of course
My kids are only 3 & 4 so we haven’t made it to some of the deeper questions yet, but sometimes I have such a hard time answering even a simple question.
Beverly
July 24, 2014 at 7:37 am (1 year ago)I’m always looking for good resources to encourage my “young moms” — and this book will be a great resource for me when dealing with my grandchildren’s endless “nana, why is_____?”
Kim
July 24, 2014 at 7:51 am (1 year ago)I’m excited to read this even as a grandma & can’t wait to share it with my daughter so she can guide out precious grandchildren!
Amy Wiseman
July 24, 2014 at 8:38 am (1 year ago)This looks like such a great resource! And I have really enjoyed the author’s other book, “Give Them Grace.”
Jennifer Graves
July 24, 2014 at 9:01 am (1 year ago)Elyse and Jessica do such a great job helping us to point our kids to Jesus, I’m looking forward to hearing what they say on these specific difficult topics!
Emily Jensen
July 24, 2014 at 9:30 am (1 year ago)Yep - I would love to read this! Right now the only official questions I regularly answer for my 2 yr old are “why?” and “what’s that?”, but I know the hard questions are coming!
Bethany T
July 24, 2014 at 10:05 am (1 year ago)I’m a huge fan of her books, very thankful for her humble, Godly wisdom that always points us to Christ.
Jacquie Olsen
July 24, 2014 at 10:08 am (1 year ago)Love these authors and gospel-centered resources. I also love teaching, sharing and learning with my little ones.
laurafulks
July 24, 2014 at 10:13 am (1 year ago)I would like to read the book because Give Them Grace has already impacted our parenting so much, and also my 2 1/2 year old is already a thinker and I can see the deep questions coming soon!
Mary
July 24, 2014 at 10:29 am (1 year ago)Want this book!
Carrie Davis
July 24, 2014 at 10:50 am (1 year ago)I have ‘Give Them Grace’ by Elyse and Jessica, and it changed how I viewed parenting. Love them!
Heather Henry
July 24, 2014 at 10:54 am (1 year ago)What a great idea for a book!
Jody
July 24, 2014 at 11:17 am (1 year ago)I definitely would love to glean on the wisdom from this book. I need the gospel focused reminders for my own heart first, then of course anticipate facing these questions with my children.
Chelsea
July 24, 2014 at 11:34 am (1 year ago)With a two year old boy already asking tough questions, this is a must!
Abbey
July 24, 2014 at 11:34 am (1 year ago)Would LOVE to read this book! It might be a couple of years before my little one starts to ask questions but want to start preparing for when he does.
Jen
July 24, 2014 at 12:49 pm (1 year ago)I love the authors, plus my boys are getting to the age when they are asking some difficult questions. This would be a great help in how to answer their challenging questions.
Amy P
July 24, 2014 at 1:03 pm (1 year ago)With six kids questions abound. This book would be a valuable resource to me an I am sure would help me with my questions as well! I am grateful for Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson and how Jesus has used them and continues to use them to encourage my heart!
Sharon
July 24, 2014 at 2:27 pm (1 year ago)This would be helpful in responding wisely and lovingly to the good questions kids have
Jamie
July 24, 2014 at 2:36 pm (1 year ago)Cannot wait to read this. Been answering a lot of tough questions from y 6 year old lately. Thanks for the chance.
Keeperathome
July 24, 2014 at 3:05 pm (1 year ago)I would love to read this book because parenting is challenging and I need all the godly help I can get!!!
Kendal Barriere
July 24, 2014 at 3:06 pm (1 year ago)I have three kids who are going to have a lot of questions!
Kara Addison
July 24, 2014 at 3:11 pm (1 year ago)I would use this book to grow in giving wise counsel to other parents and my our children.
Marcia L
July 24, 2014 at 3:53 pm (1 year ago)This would be a great book because God calls us to give answers for the faith we have.
Sybil Brun
July 24, 2014 at 5:12 pm (1 year ago)Oh I have been looking forward to reading this book! Thanks so much for offering this giveaway!
Lanae Trevino
July 24, 2014 at 5:20 pm (1 year ago)With 4 very inquisitive boys this book would definitely come in handy.
Christy Walker
July 24, 2014 at 9:25 pm (1 year ago)Would love to win this book.
Elvira clay
July 25, 2014 at 12:27 am (1 year ago)So excited for a chance to win!
Elvira clay
July 25, 2014 at 12:31 am (1 year ago)Yikes, I didn’t read far enough. Want to read this because I’ve already been so blessed by Jessica and Elyse’s other books, I can only imagine the wisdom that I’ll gain from this book!
Julio Macosay
July 25, 2014 at 4:52 pm (1 year ago)I’m the proud father of a very smart and inquisitive 4 yr old so I think this book will serve me well.
Brenda Veinotte
July 26, 2014 at 8:40 am (1 year ago)I am leading a small group of young moms this fall as part of a Titus 2 ministry. I think this book would be a great resource to have available for these moms to borrow and put on their reading lists.What an encouragement it would be.
Sarah Verheyen
July 26, 2014 at 2:41 pm (1 year ago)I have two boys, the oldest being 7, and my oldest is asking question after question. The other day he was asking about hell and why people have to go there. This book is exactly what I need to better understand how to answer him.